Humanity is complicated. At least there’s cake.
Katie Davis here, taking the pen this week with a little Machiavellian wisdom. In high school, I wrote a very long-winded, unenlightened research paper on Machiavelli and his ‘ends justifies the means’ strategy. I don’t remember what I concluded, but the older I get, the more I tend to agree. All’s well that ends well… Right?
MaryGrace Lucas leads this week with a Machiavellian dessert story, which villainizes women for baking their way up the corporate ladder. But if any manipulative means are going to justify an end, I personally prefer to savor it along the way.
I follow with my own justification of being a terrible texter (sorry to my mom, my best friend, and my doctor’s office that texts to confirm I’m coming...) but I just don’t think it’s a fair metric in determining one’s character in relationships.
Sam Jefferies reflects on a less palatable flaw of human nature – the desire to tear things down instead of building them up. Though I think that may be a feature of adulthood because everywhere I look, children are obsessed with building magna tiles, forts, Legos, you name it.
And Colby Nelson closes us out with a story about asking for money, an unfortunately common hallmark of humanity. Sounds like Kimberly Guilfoyle could’ve used some of my bad texting habits.
Here’s to a long weekend where the only crisis is deciding how to spend it. Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.
Here we go.
Sweet, Sweet Victory (Literally).
The Times. Colleagues who bring cupcakes may be Machiavelli in disguise.
This is why we can’t have sweet things.
The Times is out with a piece that puts a hilarious label on a pretty low-stakes office culture phenomenon: people bringing baked goods so their colleagues will like them more.
It reports: “Research found that providing treats, gifts and favours, more commonly done by women, often functions as ‘competitive altruism’ — a behavioural theory that suggests people try to outdo each other in generosity to gain a better reputation.”
First, it’s wild that the study looked only at women. The resulting article is a true seven-layer cake of implication that women are all quiet Machiavellis in the office. Not true and not my favorite framing, Times.
But back to the issue at hand: Just like you, I find Machiavellian manipulation grating.
However, I find baked goods delicious.
More importantly, I trust myself to navigate the intentions of the people around me, whether they’re good, bad, or motivated by a shared love of sugar.
Good shortbread isn’t a shortcut to being a colleague in good standing. Actually, being a colleague in good standing is the shortcut.
So, can we please save the policing of office manipulation for more serious matters and not cut off our noses to spite our faces at lunch?
If someone wants to win me over with treats, I’m not going to stop them to make a point. Let them bring cake.
– MaryGrace Lucas
Do Not Disturb Me While I am Living.
The Atlantic. Forgive the Bad Texters.
I’ll admit, I may have liked this piece because it excuses me for my delinquent texting behavior. I have 1,390 unread text messages.
Beck writes, “every text I owe is a tiny siren in the back of my mind, blaring intermittent pulses of guilt. [but] I’m not one of those modern hermits who thinks you don’t owe anyone anything, who likes every Instagram post she sees about boundaries and thinks that flaking on plans is self-care... I believe that showing up for one another is the purpose of our existence.”
While I, too, believe showing up for each other is the thing that makes life worth it, I do not mean this in the digital blue bubble world; I mean it in real life. Bringing flowers to your friend who just achieved something big, taking their dog out in a bind, asking if anyone needs anything from the Trader Joe’s on the other side of town. I despise the idea that the measure of love could even be put anywhere near the amount you text them on a correlative data sheet.
I will delay my text responses as much as I want. I will continue going through life with Do Not Disturb on. I am much too busy showing up for people, literally.
– Katie Davis
Last Ditch Effort to Get a Good Drink – or Good Writing.
The Free Press. What Happened at the Long-Covid Lesbian Bar?
I have gone back to read Katie Herzog’s take on the Massachusetts viral sensation The Last Ditch bar, first reported on by the Boston Globe, at least three times. At first, it made me laugh, then it made me think, and finally it made me wish I could write like Katie Herzog.
If you haven’t read the original reporting, you must: the surprise inclusion of a reference to “clown college” is worth the price of admission. But Katie takes it one step further, offering insight into human nature, why it is easier to tear down than to build up, and the particulars of the leftist rejection of authority that make leftist-serving institutions more vulnerable to quick crumble.
Her empathy with the debt-laden bar owner, and her insight into a potentially capitalist turnaround of an anti-capitalist establishment, made for incredible reading. And now I want a (mask free) drink, please.
– Sam Jefferies
Baby, Please, Pick up the Phone.
WSJ. ‘Honey Please’: Kimberly Guilfoyle Pushed Donor to Wire $100,000 to Her Amex Account.
It’s not always a bad idea to pick up the phone and call someone.
In a world where we have 500 ways to communicate with one another, sitting across from them in a coffee shop or speaking directly through a phone line isn’t just better quality, it’s also smarter – as shown by the recent example of Kimberly Guilfoyle’s request over Signal.
I’m not here to make a judgement on how Guilfoyle operates or give another hot take. There’s plenty of that in Reddit threads and bot X accounts. But as the resident Boomer at Dez, I am here to remind you to spend time with people in real life. It will give you your best conversations and most genuine relationships.
And as a crisis counselor by trade, please, if you’re going to ask your honey to pay your Amex bill, at least don’t keep the receipts.
– Colby Nelson
