Nathaniel Beach follows with the most on-brand entry of the season — the NFL is back, and so are the emergency room visits that apparently wait politely for the fourth quarter. I’d like to say I don’t recognize the man he describes, announcing “big third down here” to a room that did not ask. I recognize him completely. Saturdays in this house are twelve hours long, and I regret nothing.

Holly McPherson makes her Dez Reads debut with a Lance Oppenheim documentary about a Florida retirement community, ahead of his narrative fiction debut next week. She talks about shot composition the way Beach talks about third downs, and I’m adding it to the list.

Madeline Nagler does something better than another Gen Z rebuttal. She demands credentials from the authors covering the topic before they write another 900-word essay.

And Jennifer Condon brings us home with Callaway cutting ties with Good Good Golf over an ad nobody should have greenlit. As a golfer and a girl dad, I’ll add the communications note: the $1 million commitment and the new review procedures are the right moves, but they’re the moves you make after. Someone read that script before it was filmed. Women and girls are 52% of the game’s growth. Act like it.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Merriam-Webster ins and outs.

BBC. US dictionary adds 1,400 words, including neckbeard, trash panda and cuffing season.

Every year Merriam-Webster, and other dictionary publishers, add new words and phrases that have permeated the societal lexicon. I loved reading the dictionary as a kid. I still keep a hard copy with arm’s length of my desk. If you love words as much as I do, I encourage you to read the entire list. If you can’t spare a few minutes for the wonderful world of words, let me share my favorites and not so favorites from this year’s additions.

Loves. Trash panda, the best nickname for raccoons. Whack-a-mole, this remains one of my favorite arcade games. Parasocial, the one-sided emotional connections with celebrities, fictional characters or AI chat bots.

Leaves. Cake pop, this feels a decade too late. Meme coin, I’m just sorry this is a part of widely known vernacular. Uncanny valley, a great phrase, but it makes me sad that we need a phrase for something that’s artificial but feels almost human.

Merriam-Webster has yet to release their word of the year for 2026. I for one, am waiting with bated breath. If it were up to me, trash panda would win hands down, but my money is on vibe coding.

– Anne Marie Malecha

No pain, no gain.

Stadium Rant. The NFL Season Is Back And That Means So Are ER Visits After Football Sundays

We are so back.

Thursday night football starts the weekend early. Friday there’s some completely random college game I’ll end up invested in, while making sure everyone around me knows that it’s a “big third down here” a couple dozen times during the game. Saturday is 12 straight hours of college football. Sunday is an all-day NFL shift of armchair quarterbacking as the Steelers provide me an opportunity to scare my cat with my yelling. Then Monday night football gives me one more game before we start talking about Thursday again.

It’s incredible.

I have the privilege of spending the next several months allowing groups of 18 to 42 year-olds (shoutout Aaron Rodgers) who have absolutely no idea I exist to dictate my mental health for an entire week. According to the article, fans have been known to put off going to the ER until the game ends, which is the kind of commitment this sport demands. I love it.

There is always something happening, always something to scream in joy or frustration about. A game I didn’t care about at noon can have my heart rate up by 3:30.

Football season is beautiful. Thank God it’s back.

– Nathaniel Beach

You’ve Heard of Cocaine Bear, I Give You Ecstasy Grandpa.

IMDB. Primetime.

With Lance Oppenheim’s Primetime coming to theaters September 25^th, I felt I should spend some time in his filmography.

I was most intrigued to learn that Primetime will be his narrative fiction debut, as the rest of his works are cinematic documentaries. I personally love a good documentary and promptly started with Some Kind of Heaven. In this 2020 film, Oppenheim frames a sybaritic senior-living community in a way that feels surreal and unsettling, but also conveys the mundanity some of its residents feel. Wealthy seniors looking to spend their retirement in paradise live in, as they’d put it, a Disneyworld for adults (This mostly just entails people above the age of 65 pretending they’re still in college). However, much like college, it leaves some feeling lonely even though they’re surrounded by people.

I was in awe with how much Oppenheim can say through visuals – he is a master of shot composition. The scenes feel intensely sensational, but liminal, which I felt perfectly mirrored the emotions of someone desperate to suck the marrow out of life in the years before their passing.

– Holly McPherson

Which Gen Z are you writing about?

WaPo. Gen Z is turning hobbies into work – and missing the point.

I have always considered myself a good girl. Adult approval was my drug of choice, rather than the marijuana my peers dabbled in, and I took great pride in being a licensed dealer. As a teenager, I once left a local playground in tears after being peer pressured to drink a sip of a Monster energy drink. My low point was having to retake algebra.

That’s why I have struggled to recognize the world that this religiously obedient girl has grown up to inherit. Now 25, I find that what may have begun as a distrust of my generation has snowballed into outright contempt. Michelle Obama told me to go to college to change my life, so I did. My life changed in that I have Sallie Mae and her goons threatening my kneecaps with a tire iron once a month, but I still live at home. I’m still considered “failure to launch” by any rational interpretation of the phrase, despite my feverish adherence to the teachings of those who came before me.

So here is my question for whoever writes the next nine hundred words on Gen Z. What did you make, sell, vote for, or approve between 2004 and 2016, and where does it appear in your piece? If the answer is nowhere, you are not writing about my generation. You are writing about yourself, at length, to an audience selected specifically because it does not have the cultural status to respond at the same volume.

– Madeline Nagler

Good Good Golf, bad bad ads.

NYT. Callaway cuts ties with Good Good Golf in wake of controversial ad

I enjoy playing golf and am the parent of a female high school varsity golfer who is far better than I. So, when I watched the Callaway commercial featuring Good Good Golf, I knew it would be received just as poorly as a shanked 7-iron shot going straight into a clubhouse window. It features the co-founder of Good Good Golf tackling a female Division 1 golfer after she tries to retrieve his brand-new Callaway driver, then snarls “Don’t touch my new driver!” This isn’t edgy golf humor. It’s more like who let the unhinged group chat write the script?

Callaway cut ties with Good Good Golf and announced they will implement new review procedures going forward. They also announced a commitment of $1 million to assist organizations that help survivors of domestic violence.

My daughter and her teammates deserve more than to become a punchline in a golf bro marketing campaign. Women and girls account for 52% of all golf growth since the start of the pandemic. Perhaps you should treat them like the fairway and not the hazard.

– Jennifer Condon

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Wall Street legend Stanley Druckenmiller is forcing that question on a big stage this week, when he made major news in the WSJ opinion section strongly disagreeing with his protégé, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, over aggressive moves Bessent attempted in the bond market. The core idea was well received by analysts and market watchers, but the substance of the column was written with the assistance of AI.

Sam Jefferies leads off this week with an important question: How much should we care? For his part, Druckenmiller doesn’t seem to care about the backlash one iota.

MaryGrace follows with a strong endorsement of my decision never to download TikTok, because apparently a fake mom is using it to sell Oreos, and this consumed some element of the algorithm recently. Then again, I suppose I spent half of last week tweeting about the lunar eclipse; to each their own.

Detroit sports fan Steffen Newman correctly celebrates the LA Clippers’ comeuppance from NBA brass this week, in which owner Steve Ballmer was hammered with sanctions for illegally routing payment to his star guard outside of the salary cap. Looks like the Clips will... continue to do nothing of consequence in the league for the time to come.

And as the father of a girl who is obsessed with capybaras, I was delighted to read Phil Bogdan’s entry about a capybara that has asserted dominance and achieved king-like status among his fellow rodents at an animal sanctuary in Florida. I’ll be sharing that one at the dinner table this weekend!

Have a great holiday weekend, and thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Op-ed Slop.

SAN. How an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal reignited a debate about AI use in newsrooms.

I love a good op-ed. I adore the feeling of flipping to the back of the newspaper and reading the debate before I read the news. And the true diamond in the rough is a “point-counterpoint” side-by-side, where in truly old-fashioned fashion two debaters go at it. Make your case, and may the best viewpoint win. And while I am mindful that statements of certainty don’t age well in today’s fast-moving world, I can say with certainty that, right now, no chatbot can generate a convincing piece of commentary that makes the case the “author” is trying to make. Taking it one step further, AI slop within op-eds makes all readers less engaged, at a risk of losing the attention the writer was trying to capture in the first place.

This week’s debate about Stanley Druckenmiller’s AI-enhanced op-ed in the Wall Street Journal has been fascinating to watch and read. Mark Keierleber at Straight Arrow News breaks down the various questions that the news industry is grappling with regarding ethics, disclosure, practical realities v. nostalgic recalls, ghostwriting, and more. I don’t quite know what to think. But I do know that I’m going to keep reading, and thinking, about the many questions without good answers.

– Sam Jefferies

Don’t Get Mad at Me If You Read This and Want Oreos.

Garbage Day: #Oreogate is just the beginning

I gotta give it to Ryan Broderick at Garbage Day for delivering the most honest subhead of the week: “It Happened To Me: I Almost Fell For #Oreogate”

Same, dude. Same.

It all started with people on X re-posting TikTok posts that purported to be from a mom sharing dramatic songs in a group chat, after one parent asked others to stop letting their kids bring Oreos to school because her daughter was jealous.

I also almost fell for it, too; until after five seconds, I took the quick secondary step we apparently must now all take: I clicked the main profile feed to figure out whether the story was real or might instead be content created to promote a product.

Business Insider’s Katie Notopoulos took the time to DM the “mom” in question to ask if the chat was real. The response was, “I’ve deliberately not been getting into the specifics of the people/messages behind OreoGate while everything is still happening, just because there are so many people following it and discussing it at the moment.”

Seems like a very long way of not exactly saying, “Yes, it’s real” or “No, it’s an ad.”

Whether it’s real, exaggerated, or a fake, but sly promotion, people laughed and shared and a good time was had on the internet once again. I don’t love that the internet glommed on to content about negative stereotypes of mom and parent group chats, but that’s a discussion for another day.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Sorry, LA Sports Fans. You Can’t Have It All.

The Athletic. NBA docks Clippers 5 first-round picks, levies $30 million fine after Kawhi Leonard probe

It’s been exactly one year since Pablo Torre first reported on a scheme within the Los Angeles Clippers organization to circumvent the salary cap.

Basically, the Clippers directed payments from corporate “sponsors” to star player Kawhi Leonard, to whom they were already paying a max contract. These faux sponsorship deals often gave Leonard millions of dollars and didn’t require him to do any actual work.

Yesterday, the NBA brought the hammer, docking the Clippers 5 first-round picks and fining the team for $30 million.

As a lifelong Detroit sports fan, it’s hard not to feel jaded in a sports landscape that relentlessly promotes the biggest markets, names, and spenders. And today, I couldn’t be more pleased with the NBA.

Between the Dodgers’ $430 million payroll, the return of Aaron Donald to the Rams, and an 18-year championship drought for my Detroit teams, I sleep a little easier at night knowing there’s at least some justice left in the sports world.

– Steffen Newman

Capy is King.

Yahoo! Life. Clever Capybara Uses River Otters to Massage His Head While He Naps Like a King

I’ve covered a lot of fuzzy animals in Dez Reads, but there’s no animal I’ve covered quite like King Milo the capybara, who rules the Hope & Joy Sanctuary in Alva, Florida.

King Milo is nature’s equivalent of the dancing queen: He doesn’t do much, mainly sitting and grazing and sleeping by the river; yet his lively otter neighbors nearby are magnetized. There’s just something about Milo they can’t quite put their little paws on, yet they still have to do their little dance around him. It’s actually on my bucket list to meet a capybara, ever since I heard about capybara cafes in Japan. But until reading this article, I couldn’t even have told you why.

Now I think I know: First, they’re just so cute and approachable. But second, and more importantly, they let you be you while unabashedly being their dull little selves.

Without saying a thing, they invite you into their little worlds so you can rock theirs with a satisfying scratch behind the ears. Keep on dancing, King Milo. You may not know it, but your moves are a masterclass in human-animal relations.

– Phillip Bogdan

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Katie Davis once again here to introduce you to this week’s Dez Reads while our leader, Josh Culling, makes wins happen for our clients.

I worked at Chick-Fil-A in high school, and my friends know I can commonly talk at length about what a high-quality business operation they run. Everything from the biscuit batter to the marinade and breading on the chicken is made by hand, with love, and at their pleasure, of course. So, I’d agree with the North Carolinian town Nathaniel Beach tells us about, which argues voting polls should follow the fast food chain’s operating hours.

Mark Emerson fills us in on the fraternity cocaine ring happening at Penn State, worried the university’s response is a bit lackluster, considering this whole thing was happening... dare I say … right under their nose.

Ava Sheehan pays tribute to the icon of her childhood, Hayden Panettiere, and I offer food for thought on what gratitude really is (thanks to my new Substack habit).

We wish you all a cool last bit of summer. Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Closed on Sundays.

Democracy Docket. No Chick-fil-A, no voting: One North Carolina county’s argument for closing polls on Sundays

Local government has always fascinated me. It’s arguably the governance system that impacts individual Americans the most yet is generally an afterthought to the “sexiness” of Federal politics.

While citizens can turn on CSPAN at anytime to watch members of Congress vote on Post Office name changes, the policies that directly impact our day-to-day are often very seldom paid attention to or followed. Case in point, this local government story in North Carolina. The headline is obviously what drew my attention to the piece, craving a classic Chick-fil-A sandwich at 2pm on a Sunday only to be reminded that it’s closed represents an American phenomenon that crosses partisan lines.

Ultimately, the Chick-fil-A comparison surfaced during a debate over Sunday early voting hours in a North Carolina county. Now a large swath of the general population follows what’s occurring Federally; whether that be America’s ongoing conflict with Iran, or the President’s relationship with his aides, I’d argue a lesser amount are following what is happening at their local Town Hall. The article reports that 10 community members showed up to this meeting, which is unfortunately considered huge turnout for local government matters, in a room most people didn’t know was meeting.

That’s true of nearly everything at this level. Zoning, school calendars, water rates, permitting, etc. decided by people whose names most residents couldn’t produce on demand.

The Chick-fil-A line is what made this story travel. If a chicken sandwich is what finally gets people to look up their county board’s meeting schedule, that’s a better outcome than the alternative, which is nobody looking at all.

– Nathaniel Beach

Higher Education.

CBS News. Attorney for dad charged in alleged Penn State cocaine ring defends client: “Innocent until proven guilty”

Penn State is once again in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons after authorities busted an alleged cocaine trafficking ring operating through two fraternities. Thirteen current or former students have been charged, including one of their dads. The alleged operation apparently had fraternity pledges cutting and packaging cocaine before serving it up to students. How’s that for a college side hustle? The internet has already dubbed the alleged ringleader, Agostino Abbatiello as Pablo Pledgscobar.

The story continues... Prosecutors say the operation brought cocaine from Philadelphia and New York back to Penn State, with one person claiming to have paid Abbatiello more than $50,000 for drugs. Then there’s Thomas Robinson, another alleged senior member of the operation. His dad is now facing felony charges for allegedly taking a safe full of drugs and cash and trying to hide the evidence.

Allegedly… Of course.

Penn State has spent more than a decade trying to repair its reputation from its last egregious misstep. But as we here at Dez have seen too often reputational baggage has a long shelf life and every new controversy brings the old ones back with it. Penn State cannot control what its students do in their free time, but it can control its response. Moving quickly, creating distance and showing accountability are critical when the public is already primed to see a pattern.

Yet another bump Penn State’s reputation could’ve done without.

– Mark Emerson

Millennials in Mourning.

Refinery29. We Grew Up With Hayden Panettiere. Now We’re Reckoning With How Hollywood Failed Her.

This hit hard. I didn’t expect to start Monday morning with the gut punch that yet another icon of my youth passed – adding to the growing list of people Millennials grew up watching on Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and in movie theaters who are no longer with us. It’s a unique kind of heartbreak losing so many child stars too young.

The sad reality is that growing up in Hollywood is not always glamorous. We are witnessing how fame and monetary gain are valued over protecting children – resulting in adulthood struggles with addiction and mental health. Children deserve better. Hayden deserved better.

Hayden Panettiere was a bright light. She captured your imagination and stole your heart onscreen. It’s a sobering grief when we lose someone who played a part in our childhoods.

Rest in Peace, Hayden. We’ll see you onscreen.

– Ava Sheehan

Selfish Gratitude.

Substack. Why I’m Anti-Gratitude.

I’ve been reading substacks while I eat lunch. I think of them as podcast snacks. An ailment to my scrolling addiction. This one was from last week but I can’t stop thinking about it.

Gratitude has been remarketed as a self-care, quick fix, change your life in 24 hours habit. Something you can tell yourself to do in place of complaining or suffering. There are all these supposed studies that back it up.

Well Kate Bowler looks into those studies, and it was actually a ton of college students with the choice to write out ten things they’re grateful for or ten things they’re angry about and record how they felt after weeks of doing one or the other. That sort of rewrites the rules. Of course, you would feel better reminding yourself of blessings rather than keeping miseries top of mind. But it shouldn’t, and really doesn’t, exist in a vacuum that way. Other research showed the same (or more) positive effect could be felt simply by not complaining, or the act of writing a tidbit about anything in a journal every day.

Historically, gratitude exists as a virtue in response to a gift, a good thing, not as a mechanical morning routine wellness gimmick. Gratitude should be an authentic expression activated by something else, not a selfish hack to feeling better about your life.

– Katie Davis

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We wish you all a relaxing weekend ahead. Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

A Movie Review.

The Odyssey by Homer, Produced by Christopher Nolan.

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is the most expensive shrug of the summer. It was shot entirely on IMAX cameras, it runs just under three hours, and it throws one enormous set piece after another at you with a technical precision no other director can match.

None of it makes you care.

Matt Damon plays Odysseus as a closed door, and while Anne Hathaway’s Penelope and Tom Holland’s Telemachus are supposed to be what he’s fighting to get back to, neither is given enough to play. The jumbled timeline interrupts every feeling with more information. When Odysseus finally reaches Ithaca, the reunion lands like a plot point instead of a release. Nolan built an extraordinary machine and forgot to put anyone inside it.

The action is huge and it means nothing, because there is nothing at stake.

– Madeline Nagler

Screenagers.

CBS News. Some Gen Zers swap their smartphones for “dumb” phones to curb social media habits.

Gen Z is trading in their smartphones for minimalist “dumb” phones to curb their extensive social media use. Some go fully old‑school with flip phones that only call and text, while others use devices that keep practical apps like maps, Uber, and Spotify but block social platforms entirely. Experts are looking at smartphone‑driven social media use on the same spectrum as other addictions, and argue that turning constant access into occasional access is often enough to improve sleep quality, focus, and mood.

The irony is how we’re finding out about this newfound trend... it’s being posted all over TikTok and Instagram. The dumb‑phone switch has its own aesthetic now - they’re filming flip phone unboxings, day‑by‑day “phone sober” updates, and DIML (Day in My Life) without social media videos everywhere. Leave it to Gen Z to make unplugging go viral.

– Kaci Donegan

Weird Generation, Creative Parties.

The Atlantic. Gen Z Is Testing the Limits of How Weird Parties Can Get.

This headline caught my attention because I was just invited to a “Bring Yo Thang” party. The rule for attendance: bring your current obsession. Whether it be mahjong, a new type of wine, or your favorite pair of shoes (on or off your feet).

I think the explanation is simple. Gen Z is bringing back the village. We want community, and we want it to be easy while exciting and affordable. The best way to do that? Laid-back house gatherings with a fun idea. Chips and salsa, music, not enough chairs or space for everyone to relax comfortably; it’s like the after-party for 9^th grade homecoming all over again. Except include funny presentations, a farewell celebration for Spirit Airlines, a spelling bee judged by your parents, and the deep desire to make life outside of work fun again.

Say what you will about Gen Zers, but we have full ‘5 to 9s’ and we will do weird things to keep it that way.

– Katie Davis

Tesco Roots.

The New Yorker. The Myth of the Food Desert.

I didn’t expect “The Myth of the Food Desert,” a 3,543-word essay which functions partially as a scholarly review, to be a rollicking good read. I was wrong. Kelefa Sanneh’s latest missive is funny and insightful, laughing up its sleeves at self-important academics who seized and ran with the term “food desert” in the late aughts, without realizing it was a term coined by the British supermarket chain Tesco in a marketing effort to re-invade American neighborhoods for profit.

He does one of the things I love – questions the phrasing and framing itself, picking through the misapplied and misappropriated “food desert” as a useful fiction, before moving on to food hinterlands, mirages, swamps, and the notably ambiguous “food justice,” which brings together contradictory ideas about a more just food system.

Ultimately, his tongue-in-cheek takedown brings the reader from the original branding exercise through the academic and policymaker snowballing and back to a simple, delicious conclusion: people will go to great lengths to eat what they want, not what they are told to. American neighborhoods are, more often than not, just toddlers hoping no one notices the neglected broccoli pushed to the other side of their plate.

– Sam Jefferies

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By now, everyone knows that lettuce is to be avoided for the time-being. My kids have attempted to use this as an excuse to cut all fruits and vegetables out of their diets for the balance of 2026.

Phil Bogdan rushes to the defense of the little guy – Taco Bell, part of $40 billion Yum! Brands – which has been unfairly maligned for something it was previously fairly maligned for. Sorry for the heavy edit on your scatological humor, P-Money.

Nathaniel Beach has a take on Nolan’s The Odyssey, which he reminds us is a work of fiction, not history. Important context, and also the first and last Odyssey take here in Dez Reads.

Helen has a book review for us, and I dig the new content format. Reviews may be a bigger part of our content strategy moving forward. I read an interview with the author she cites and need to stop reading management books for a while and pick up a work of fiction.

And finally, Katie shows off her new last name (congratulations!) in signing off her reminder that Christmas in July, like the Odyssey, is fiction. Unlike any Christopher Nolan film, it should be ignored completely as an illegitimate concept. #KeepChristmasInDecember.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

An Excuse to Skip Your Vegetables.

USA Today. Taco Bell offering $1 lettuce-free deal amid cyclospora outbreak

Poor Taco Bell, as if you needed any more associations with incontinence.

Last week, federal health officials identified lettuce served at Taco Bell restaurants across five states among the many sources of cyclospora, the parasite that forced more than 11,500 people to…well, you know by now. But Taco Bell deserves some credit here for being responsible. They quickly removed all lettuce from their products before contamination was traced to their stores. They cut business ties with Taylor Farms once they learned they were the source of the outbreak, and then they took the situation in stride by offering a special $1 deal for lettuce-free Enchiritos. I don’t even know what those are. I do know, however, that Taco Bell’s reputation has been harmed thanks to content creators and their torrent of meme videos.

Give Taco Bell a break, social media. Try associating the nation’s gastrointestinal issues with the real villain: Taylor Farms.

– Phillip Bogdan

100% Accurate and Totally Made-Up Fiction.

USA Today. Elon Musk says his AI will make ‘accurate’ version of ‘The Odyssey.’

I’m spending my Friday evening going to the movies to watch Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey.

Supposedly it’s been getting heat over the creative liberties it’s taking in casting choices and costuming. Elon Musk has been at the forefront of pushing the narrative of how it’s going to flop (it’s already made over $300 million in like 2 weeks.) So, I guess to combat that, we’ll be blessed with more of The Odyssey via a full-length AI-generated version thanks to Grok that’s deemed “historically accurate.”

The Odyssey. You know, that famously historical piece of work. The one with the cyclops and goddesses who rearrange reality.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on Elon and should wait to see the AI-generated historical recollection of one of the world’s famous myths myself before making fun of it. That’s what critics did with Nolan’s movie. Maybe this will be the start of something grand, and we can get historically accurate versions of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings next.

In the meantime, I’ll set my expectations aside and happily watch Nolan’s version until we see what Grok can produce. Because nothing screams historical accuracy more than turning the fictional “Sing to me of the man, Muse, the man of twists and turns” into the very accurate “Muse, tell me about the man — he’s not just a normal man, he’s the man of twists and turns”.

– Nathaniel Beach

A Book Review.

Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke.

Just finished Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke, and the twist genuinely blindsided me. Rare for a thriller these days.

Natalie Heller Mills is a tradwife influencer with millions of followers, selling a curated homesteading fantasy from her idyllic ranch (nannies and industrial appliances stay safely off camera). Then one morning, she wakes up living the actual 1800s version of it. No electricity, bleeding fingers, and a husband and kids who feel both familiar and completely wrong.

What makes it work is the whiplash. You are inside the head of a narcissistic, hilarious influencer on one page, then plunged into the exhausting, brutal interior of a real 19th-century tradwife the next. It is funny, sad, gross, and genuinely scary, sometimes all in the same chapter.

When the twist finally lands (no spoilers from me), it hits harder than I expected. Nothing about it felt like a cheap trick. Her poor kids never asked for any of this.

It’s a sharp, dark satire about internet authenticity and what happens when the performance becomes the prison. 10/10 read.

– Helen Taylor

Summer Scrooge.

Marketing Resource Blog. Christmas In July, A Retail Traffic Promotion

As we approach the August recess, the grown-up corporate version of the dog days of summer, I have been bombarded by “Christmas in July.” Whether it be gingerbread lattes, peppermint ice cream, or some weird Santa swimsuit, consumer America takes every chance they get.

If you love this out-of-place celebration, we are not the same. And the explanation is not whimsical; there’s no holiday magic. It’s simple as money. Businesses are trying to get around the sales slump, too far past Memorial Day, too long until Labor Day, and everyone’s on a beach somewhere enjoying vacation instead of shopping. They can creatively clear left-over inventory, or drive brand differentiation.

I remain firmly in the good old dog days. See you in December, Christmas.

– Katie Davis

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England is a country that is near and dear to my heart. I have mixed feelings about UK politics, given my marriage to a fiercely Thatcherite British girl. But one thing I absolutely love is the admitted farce of it. There is a trash can named Count Binface that is running head-to-head with Brexiteer Nigel Farage in a parliamentary election. Some polling has Binface winning, which leads Dez Reads this week.

I also share some of Anne Marie’s love for Norway, having just returned from a family vacation there with help from her mother, Jan. America has fallen in love with the Norwegian football team for good reason, and AMM kicks us off with a look at the global obsession that is Erling Haaland.

I guess we couldn’t avoid an entry on Taylor Swift’s monstrosity of a wedding. Katie Runkle takes the other side of my POV in her dispatch. My daughter strongly agrees with Katie, for the record.

MaryGrace gives us a touching tribute to Bonnie Tyler; RIP. I’ll put the August 12 eclipse on my calendar.

Phil Bogdan rounds out DR this week informing us of the international Santa Clause Congress, which gathers in Denmark this month for the 69^th time. Nice.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Democracy in Action.

NPR. Count Binface: The intergalactic warrior who could upend Britain’s strangest election

After nearly 15 blissful years of marriage to a British-American smokeshow, I’ve learned a lot about the United Kingdom.

In some ways, the country takes itself way too seriously. The number of rules these people follow blindly does not resonate with the anti-authoritarian in me. The Brits, God love them, also have a reputation for a stiff upper lip and serious demeanor.

On the other hand, they know how to get weird with it. If you’ve ever seen four grown men in Teletubbies costumes walking from the pub to the cricket ground (as I did on the eve of my wedding), or the circus-like atmosphere of the darts final at the Ally Pally, you know what I mean.

Enter Count Binface, a trash can that is running for election to parliament against Brexit architect Nigel Farage. Click through to read more on the trash can’s policy platform, but the point is more obvious. Politics is a stupid game played by silly people, and at least the Brits can say it out loud.

– Josh Culling

The Haaland Effect.

Yahoo Sports. Why the United States is Obsessed with Erling Haaland

I owe my mother an apology. Being Norwegian is awesome and I’m sorry it took Erling Braut Haaland for me to realize what she’s known all along.

My mom’s side of the family is very Norwegian. She lived in Norway, speaks Norwegian fluently, and knows more about Norwegian history and culture than most that grew up there.

While I love visiting Norway, I’ve long dismissed our heritage and scoffed at her love for Norway. Until now.

Team Norway in their World Cup run has captivated America, including yours truly, and their striker’s goofball humor, epic performance on the pitch (seven goals in four games), and silly social media antics are at the heart of it. Traffic to Erling’s social channels in the US is up 1,130 percent. I may or may not have contributed significantly to this statistic.

Norway hasn’t been to a World Cup in 28 years. The team and its fans are making the most of their run and leaning all the way in – posing beside a fjord as Norse warriors, encouraging fans to Ro! all over America (Times Square, DFW), and so much more. While fierce competitors on the pitch, it’s clear they’re also having the time of their lives and that joy is contagious. Norway probably won’t win the whole thing, Haaland himself put the odds at 0.5 percent. Doesn’t matter. Saturday, it’s Norway vs. England and I’m proud to be Alt for Norge (All for Norway).

Heia Norge (Go Norway)!

– Anne Marie Malecha

JusT&T Married, AbouT&T to be Married.

People. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are Married.

As a devoted Taylor Swift fan and a part-time Eagles fan (when the 49ers fall out of playoffs long before they do), I was happy to see her fall in love with Travis Kelce. With getting married myself this weekend, I relished hearing about her July 3^rd wedding even more.

Transforming Madison Square Garden is fitting, and likely the only venue that could fit all of their attendees. Reporting also says she wore Cartier, which to geek out a bit, lines up with a lyric in her song Elizabeth Taylor, “I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust.”

And to top it off, Adam Sandler officiated! Adam Sandler and his movies hold a special place in my heart, all containing the ability to make me cry (not accepting comments on that). So anyways, Happy wedding season to all who celebrate with Taylor and me.

– Katie Runkle

Turn Around, Bright Eyes.

Yahoo. Bonnie Tyler, singer of blockbuster No 1 hit ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart,’ dies aged 75

Turn around. Every now and then we get a little bit rowdy and then we all just scream in the mic.

There isn’t a karaoke fan the world over who hasn’t belted out Bonnie Tyler’s anthem “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” It’s a global classic, and a solid piece of songwriting that Tyler’s powerful delivery and singular voice made absolutely epic.

Tyler says her trademark raspy voice emerged as the result of damage she inadvertently caused herself by screaming after she’d had nodules removed from her vocal cords. When her producers heard her new sound, they reportedly said, “Bloody ‘ell, where’s that voice come from?”

She jokes that she sounded like a “female Rod Stewart.”

But Rod Stewart never actually delivered an anthem like “Total Eclipse.” It has more than a billion Spotify plays and will surely now be screaming back up the charts and onto karaoke screens with news that Tyler passed away this week.

And fittingly, every now and then we get a little celestial calendar invite that puts her song back on top: total eclipses.

This August 12, Earth will be treated to an eclipse. And in Tyler’s home country of Wales, people will see about 90% of the sun covered along the horizon near sunset. That gorgeous moment will be followed by a night of shooting stars giving off sparks and sending Tyler off in style.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Clause for Celebration.

AP. Ho, ho, hot: Santas gather for a summer celebration

No thanks to quirky retailers, clickbaiting décor bloggers, and the sappy Hallmark Channel, the “Christmas in July” theme seemed like nothing but a gag-worthy cliché to me. Why? Because anyone selling anything uses this theme to make money. It literally took a small army of Santa Clauses for me to see things differently. Right now, in the Danish city of Aalborg, Professional Santas from around the world are gathering on their own dimes for the 69^th World Santa Claus Congress. There they are honing the finer skills of Santa Clause-ing, like gingerbread eating, gift wrapping, and balloon modeling – all while amping their generosity and good cheer for the world to soak up.

They do this not for profit, but to spread happiness among “kids from one to ninety-two” all year round – and to make children smile just a little bit wider come holiday season. These Santas are showing the world that Christmas is a state of mind, even in July. Thanks, Santas; the warmth you’ve brought us is most welcome – even in this record heat.

– Phil Bogdan

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Keeping with the World Cup theme, our favorite Scottish-American colleague Jen Hirshon chronicles the beer-swilling, ballad-belting Tartan Army, currently taking over Boston and drinking all the beer.

I break things up with a shoutout to Toledo Country Club bartender Neal Bomeli, whose daughter just got her first byline in the New York Times last week. No small feat for a recent j-school grad! Kali Bomeli thoughtfully examines the debt collector profession in her article – these folks may not be popular, but the amount of abuse they experience while trying to support their own families is an eye-opener.

Beach amplifies our own Kaci’s look at Americana through the eyes of global World Cup fans. I’ve never been to a Buc-ee’s, but it sounds like I should add a trip to the summer bucket list.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

The American Experience.

Yahoo News. World Cup visitors are discovering America — one Waffle House and side of ranch dressing at a time.

While you’d think that World Cup fans flying in from across the globe would want to check off some of the American staples - go see the Statue of Liberty, or the Hollywood sign, maybe even go to Disney for the day - it turns out they are a lot more interested in cosplaying your average Midwesterner.

Europeans are flooding social media with vlogs of their 2 a.m. Waffle House outings, photos of their Triple Dippers at Chili’s, and documenting the three‑hour detours they’re taking just to visit a Buc‑ee’s. The comment sections are full of oddly proud Americans, as if the highest form of flattery is flying thousands of miles to eat exactly like someone who forgot to defrost the chicken for dinner.

Apparently, all it takes to change a European’s mind about the US is free refills, a side of ranch, and a gas station with a beaver mascot. In terms of a global rebrand...we could do a lot worse than ranch-obsessed diner country.

– Kaci Donegan

Kilts, Choruses, and Kegs in Crisis.

MSN. Scottish soccer fans drink Boston bars dry, forcing ‘emergency’ beer deliveries.

If there were ever a case for cultural diplomacy powered purely by enthusiasm, the Scottish fans at this year’s FIFA World Cup might be it. From Instagram to Reddit, Boston appeared less like a host city and more like an honorary outpost of Glasgow, as tartan-clad supporters packed bars so enthusiastically they quite literally drank them dry, forcing emergency beer deliveries just to keep up. Having attended a wedding for my Scottish cousin recently in Belfast, I witnessed firsthand how much these Scots can drink.

But for me, the real story is how the Scots have brought so much joy. At a time when so much feels divided, Scotland’s traveling fans managed to do something amazingly simple: bring people together. And sure, they’ve done it over many pints, but also over sharing their experience. You can’t help but sing “No Scotland, no party.”

There is something especially disarming about the Scottish approach to sport. It is not just about the match—it is about the moment. The songs, the openness, the easy way they pull everyone into the experience, whether you planned to be part of it or not. Even the most casual observer likely walked away with a tune stuck in their head and a newfound appreciation for kilts.

If World Cup success were measured strictly by wins and losses, there might be room for debate. But if it is about atmosphere, camaraderie, and turning an entire city into a celebration, Scotland remains undefeated and, it seems, impossible to keep in beer. Best of luck to the team today in their match against Morocco. #TARTANARMY

– Jennifer Hirshon

Dignity to the Debt Collector.

NYT. Debt Collectors Know They Are Reviled. They Have Bills to Pay, Too.

I’ll be transparent: I’m including this story in this week’s DR because it was written by the daughter of my favorite Toledo, Ohio bartender. He’s super proud of his recent Columbia University journalism school graduate, and he should be. A byline in the New York Times a month after graduating is no small feat!

The story is interesting in that it looks at the “other side” of debt collection — those that support themselves and their families by performing this job under intense abuse. It’s an interesting look at the other side of the table, something we should do more of before we get angry and denigrate our negotiating partners.

– Josh Culling

Popular Online, Present IRL.

ABC News. World Cup visitors are going viral for their reactions to everyday American life.

It’s easy to lose sight of what makes this country great when the daily news cycle is determined to remind you of everything wrong with it. So, what a gut-check it’s been to watch World Cup visitors from across the globe discover the country many of us have forgotten to appreciate.

Over a million international fans have descended on U.S. host cities, and what they’re finding isn’t a dystopian society of a nation in decline. They’re discovering Waffle House at 1 a.m. and losing their minds over Buc-ee’s. Scottish fans are waking up Boston with bagpipes at dawn, and the neighbors love it. Restaurant owners are driving fans to games because they can’t find an Uber. New Jersey deli owners are handing tourists free lunch just because they made the trip. New York is showing the world what it looks like when a city celebrates a long-awaited NBA championship. We are just Americans being Americans, and the world is noticing.

It’s so easy to get hung up on the bad things about this place. But what makes the U.S. special are the things we often take for granted: the National Parks, the diners, the yellow school buses, the people.

On July 4, the country turns 250 and we celebrate our Semiquincentennial, a quarter millennium of this grand, messy experiment of a place. It offers a moment to step back and remember what we actually built here. The World Cup visitors seem to get it, and what I hope they remember most about their trip isn’t the final score of the games but the stranger who said “Welcome to America.” That’s worth celebrating.

– Nathaniel Beach

Our very own Anne Marie Malecha kicks us off with a story about a publication name change rollout that quite literally went rolling down K street before legal approval. Nothing says “launch strategy” like rolling a mobile billboard past the White House for a brand a federal judge has just put in time‑out. 

Meanwhile, Sam Jefferies tells us in San Franciso, Anthropic stock has become the chicest new currency in real estate — at least until someone remembers escrow companies accept wires, not Series F fantasies.

William Kim gives us a dose of U.S.A pride for the home turf World Cup while pardoning the coach for sending bad news via email. And Madeline Nagler brings us back in time with a different sense of American pride to wish the blonde icon, Marilyn Monroe, a happy centennial birthday.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

What’s in a Name?

Washington Post. Judge blocks NOTUS from renaming itself the Star after trademark complaint.

A federal judge this week blocked NOTUS (News of the United States), the political news outlet backed by Politico co-founder Robert Allbritton, from rebranding as The Star. The court sided with the recently revived Washington Star, which holds the trademark and is publishing under it.

NOTUS struggled to gain widespread name recognition beyond the beltway, so a rebrand makes sense. Outside of D.C., politico vernacular like SCOTUS, POTUS, FLOTUS, feels a bit like trying to make fetch happen. 

To NOTUS’s credit, they tried to buy the mark earlier this spring, but walked away when talks stalled, and moved ahead with the rollout anyway. And rollout, they did.

Trademark fights aren’t usually that interesting, but this one caught my attention... literally. Last week I saw a mobile billboard rolling through downtown D.C., two blocks from the White House, announcing The Star was coming soon.

I love a bold marketing campaign, as much, if not more than most, but sequencing matters. You lock the name, then you put it in lights.

– Anne Marie Malecha

Bay Area Opulence is about to IPO.

Wired. What’s Worth More Than Cash in San Francisco Real Estate? Anthropic Stock.

For a while there, it felt like the stories of San Francisco madness had ended. Gone were the days of opulence, replaced by tales of the “doomloop” and life in a post-tech boom world. This felt satisfying for many.

HBO’s Silicon Valley rose up as the satire sticks to beating the tech industry. It was funny because it was well written, well cast, and most of all, mostly true. But as the Covid pandemic drove remote workers out of Bay Area and San Francisco struggled with a downtown suddenly emptied of workers, some of the glee went out of punching.

The rise of OpenAI, Anthropic, and others seems to have changed that. This week’s WIRED piece felt like a return to the good old, bad old days of Bay Area opulence, and the pillorying that came with it.

Is it true? Can you really swap stock for a home in Palo Alto? The short answer is: not really. As one real estate agent stated this week, “escrow companies are not able to deal in securities, especially in ones that aren’t publicly traded.”

Still, it made for great copy. And even if that’s not worth as much as Anthropic Stock, or Merin County real estate, it’s valuable to the rest of us.

– Sam Jefferies

Ctrl+Alt+Cut (from the team.)

The Guardian. Missing a World Cup, over email? Pochettino defends communication style with tough decisions behind him.

The World Cup is less than 10 days away, and we should all be excited about hosting arguably the most important sporting event in the world. But it seems like the media is unfortunately more focused on throwing shade at the US Men’s National Team than supporting them.

During a recent press conference announcing his final team selection, head coach Mauricio Pochettino was grilled for apparently sending his rejection messages to unselected players via email. The usual way has been to always call the players to inform them about the outcome.

Pochettino didn’t help himself in this controversy, calling all the chatter about this “bullshit.” But aside from his profanity, I have to agree. Some national teams around the world don’t even notify players who don’t make the cut. Heck, even normal people like us don’t even get rejection emails from the jobs we apply to.

All this drama about the coach’s communication style is distracting us from what’s really important: a World Cup on U.S. soil, with one of the most talented American squads ever assembled. Pochettino’s job is to pick the best possible team, not to be an emotional support coach. Now it’s time for us to do ours: get loud and show the world what we are made of. USA! USA! USA!

– William Kim

Hollywood’s Permanent Blonde.

CBS News. Marilyn Monroe at 100.

Some women refuse to die. Cleopatra before her, Princess Diana after, and Marilyn Monroe, who turned 100 this year, immortal not despite her era but because she was so wildly out of step with it. She was a woman ahead of her time: inclusive, liberal, a forward thinker who invented the very look the world still imitates: the platinum glamour, the iconic blonde, all of it hers.

Her greatest role was the dumb one. She was an actress and comedienne so gifted, so committed, that the world still mistakes the character for the woman. She wasn’t, of course. Marilyn was a voracious reader, an advocate for women’s safety in Hollywood, one of the first women to found her own production company. A sex symbol who quietly suffered endometriosis. An ally who lifted the voices of Black artists. A publicity genius who understood fame before anyone gave women credit for understanding anything.

She has been my idol since I was six, lugging my Some Like It Hot DVD to playdates while my friends looked on, baffled. Twenty biographies later, her own My Story among them, I finally understand the pull. We share reproductive struggles, mental health battles, an outspokenness, and the same dissonance between who we are and who people assume us to be. I even ended up with a cat named Marilyn, a stray who came in already bearing the name, spotted by my grandmother volunteering at the ASPCA, who knew it was a sign.

She made up for a lack of power with an abundance of influence, cunning, and perspective. On her centennial, let her remind every woman what we can accomplish against the patriarchy without surrendering our femininity.

– Madeline Nagler

We hope your celebrations give due honor to all active-duty service members and veterans, though fall short of the rowdiness this issue starts off with — Drunk deer spinning around in the French countryside, unpredictably.

In our usual Dez Reads fashion, this week’s lineup contains drunk animals, human error, and a bit of philosophy, the usual D.C. newsletter. Right?

MaryGrace fills us in on how liquor affects large animals, along with a warning for French drivers, through linking short-form video evidence. And Josh Culling reminds us that long-form media mattered long before Gen-Z discovered Tiktok Videos, Instagram Reels, and Youtube Shorts, with James Murdoch’s investment to make sure it matters again.

Maya Shackley and Ava Sheehan get into two social faux-pauxs: Accidentally announcing the British Monarch’s death on public radio, and embracing typos to prove Chat-GPT didn’t write that LinkedIn post for you. (Spell check wants me to take the comma before ‘and’ away but to prove I’m human, it remains. Sorry, Ava.)

Nathaniel Beach brings us home with his usual thoughtfulness, this time focused on Martha Nussbaum’s book about human capabilities and freedoms. A light reading recommendation for your holiday weekend, I guess….

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

DUI (Deer Under Influence.)

The New York Times. Beware of Drunk Deer, French Police Say, Announcing Season of Inebriation

Ok, first of all, go click the video and then come back to me after you’ve sent it to all your group chats.

I’ll wait.

I’m sure you’ll agree when I say this deer — who got hammered after eating some combo of dried buds, fermented fruits, or decaying vegetation — would be absolutely awesome company at a Phish concert. 

Police in France are warning drivers to avoid drunk deer like this fella because they spin around in fields and are totally unpredictable. Great warning.

Although there is some debate over whether these whirling deer really are half in the bag, The New York Times reports, “Some researchers have questioned whether animals, especially large ones like elephants and elk, can actually become drunk, given their size and the limited alcohol in the environment.”

Well, some researchers should rewatch some video. Bambi’s bombed.  

Plus, the NYT reports, “A variety of animals have shown a predilection for alcohol.” So, there it is folks. 

But Dez Reads fans already know that. And so does our iconic old pal “Trash Panda“ who it’s safe to say has finally found his very own spirit animal. 

Cheers to that. 

– MaryGrace Lucas

Long Live Long Form.

NYT. James Murdoch, Intent on ‘Thoughtful Journalism,’ Buys Half of Vox Media.

I’m a long form guy in a short form world. I am also a capitalist and understand that unless there is an investment thesis for an idea, it’s probably not viable.

The Succession angle on this investment by Fox Corp scion James Murdoch is obvious. But more interesting is his interest in reviving a storied media brand like New York alongside a big bet on audio. I don’t tend to listen to much of Vox’s podcast lineup, but I think it’s important that these conversations are happening, with all the context and nuance that is rapidly disappearing thanks to the quick cut social video content that is destroying our brains.

I may be adding New York to my subscription list to follow along with James’s new project.

– Josh Culling

A Royal Mess-Up.

People. Radio Station Accidentally Announces Death of King Charles Due to ‘Computer Error.’

The Brits, though often loathe to admit it, love their monarchy. They may not camp outside Buckingham Palace waving Union Jacks or spend their evenings dissecting royal gossip over tea and digestive biscuits, but deep down they have no desire to see the monarchy abolished. Complaining about the royals, after all, is practically a national pastime.

The death of Queen Elizabeth II on September 8, 2022, triggered an extraordinary outpouring of grief, public mourning, and national reflection. An estimated 250,000 people queued for up to 24 hours to view her Lying-in-State at Westminster Hall.

There have, of course, been persistent rumors surrounding the health of King Charles III. While the Palace has confirmed he is being treated for cancer, the public remains in the dark about the specific diagnosis and prognosis. News of his death would undoubtedly shock the nation, though perhaps not entirely surprise it.

Imagine, then, driving down the busy M6, absentmindedly singing along to “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes, when suddenly the music cuts out. A solemn voice interrupts:

“This is Radio Caroline. We have suspended our normal programming until further notice as a mark of formal respect following the passing of His Majesty King Charles III. We will now be playing suitable continuous music until further notice.”

Moments later, the British national anthem begins to play. Oh dear. Computer error.

Hours later, Radio Caroline apologized, crown in hand, for prematurely ushering the nation into mourning. One suspects that several producers were summoned to the broadcasting equivalent of the Tower of London.

The incident demonstrated two timeless truths about Britain: First, that the monarchy still occupies a deeply emotional place in the national psyche; and second, that nothing causes collective panic faster than interrupting a perfectly good 90s singalong with a formal announcement and a sudden outbreak of patriotic organ music.

– Maya Shackley

Typos are not Cool.

The Atlantic. The Typo Vibe Shift.

We’re apparently in an era where typos are being rebranded as authentic.

Our digital world is inundated with AI-polished emails, LinkedIn posts, and influencer messaging to the point that spelling mistakes now signal when a human is behind the keyboard.

Does anyone else see the irony? AI is a human innovation that helps us work harder, better, faster, and stronger. But society is now convinced that flawless grammar is soulless, so we are choosing to sound less intelligent by embracing typos.

This goes against every part of my designer being. Craft matters.

A typo isn’t charming to me. It’s distracting. It breaks trust. It tells me that the details weren’t respected. I’m not asking for perfection, but if you choose to skip spell check and think it’s cute to misuse “they,” “there,” and “they’re,” we must agree to disagree on this “typo vibe shift.”

AI has made people nostalgic for imperfection. I get it. But let’s not lower our standards to think that grammatical mistakes are acceptable.

Autocorrect exists for a reason. I’m not *ducking* around.

– Ava Sheehan

Useable Freedoms.

Martha Nussbaum. Creating Capabilities: The Human Development Approach.

While not a “news of the day” piece like most Dez Reads, I’ve been reading a lot of Martha Nussbaum recently. She’s a modern Aristotelian philosopher at the University of Chicago and one of the sharpest thinkers working today.

Most philosophers who write about human dignity are actually writing about an abstraction, but Nussbaum inverses that standard through her “Capabilities Approach” which basically asks what people can actually do and be, not just what rights exist on paper. But that single reframe exposes more about inequality than most political theorists can.

You can enumerate freedoms all day. Nussbaum asks whether anyone can actually use them. That’s the more uncomfortable question, and most thinkers dodge it.

She also makes a serious case that emotions aren’t just noise that clouds good reasoning, but actually a form of reasoning themselves. When you grieve, you’re making a claim about what mattered. She corrects a mistake Western philosophy has been making since Plato.

Her blind spots are real. The capabilities list occasionally reads like a (small-L) liberal wish list. But she’s one of the rare philosophers who starts with actual human beings rather than working backward to fit them into a theory.

– Nathaniel Beach

Mark Emerson here with the pen, and this week is full of people trying to reshape systems that no longer feel quite right. Anne Marie Malecha opens with a look at the SEC’s potential move away from quarterly reporting. It’s a change that could upend the entire cadence of Wall Street, media cycles, and corporate strategy itself.

Josh Culling follows with a reminder that politics is often hyper-local, oddly specific, and occasionally hilarious. His hoodie-wearing Massachusetts YIMBY captures the reality that meaningful civic engagement usually comes from the people who actually show up.

Madeline Nagler delivers a powerful argument about who gets excluded from major cultural and medical debates, while Phil Bogdan reminds us that sometimes the strangest ideas are the ones that actually make people pay attention.

MaryGrace Lucas brings us perhaps the most absurdly effective headline of the week with the New York Times’ Gates of Hell clickbait masterclass, proving once again that curiosity remains undefeated. And Sam Jefferies closes things out in the increasingly ruthless world of college football buyouts, where universities are learning that for cause can be stretched just about as far as donors need it to go.

A week of systems under pressure, narratives under construction, and people trying to game both.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Less Noise, More Strategy.

Axios. SEC proposes rule to allow public companies to report twice a year.

Quarterly reporting has run U.S. markets for fifty-plus years. Dimon and Buffett have called for this for years. Plenty of business leaders agree. Less short-termism. Fewer earnings-driven contortions. More room for an actual long-term strategy.

If it lands, the entire investor relations and influence ecosystem reshapes. The sell-side analysts whose models assume four data points a year. CNBC’s earnings season machinery. The retail investor chatter that lives and dies on each print. The activist investors that use a soft quarter as the wedge for a board fight. The short sellers that time their attacks to a miss. All of it gets fewer reps, fewer headlines, fewer hot takes.

The 60-day public comment window is now open. As someone who observes influence and works with corporate clients living the quarterly earnings hamster wheel, I’m watching this one closely. Where the comments come from will be telling.

– Anne Marie Malecha

Town Hall Heroics.

WSJ. The Latest Hero of the ‘Yimby’ Movement Is a Massachusetts Man in a Hoodie

While I do agree with this Masshole on the substance, I’d instead like to make a point about the beauty of local politics. This is actually how it works in the real world. It is parochial, it is hyper-specific, and it is often hilarious.

Kudos to David Modica. Not for going viral, or even for making me laugh audibly. Kudos for being impactful in local politics and fighting for what you think is best for your community. Some see a surly and borderline rude voter; I see someone who cares deeply and did something interesting about it.

– Josh Culling

The Silent, but Most Important, Stakeholders.

Bloomberg. America’s Go-To Autism Therapy Is Also the Most Controversial.

I’m the older sister of someone who went from non‑verbal and high‑risk to low‑support needs, and here’s what bothers me most about this debate: who actually gets to sit at the table.

Right now, the loudest voices shaping the narrative are mostly late‑diagnosed, level 1 autistic adults with strong verbal and writing skills. They can publish essays, give talks, and frame ABA, and autism itself, in very sophisticated, theoretical language. That perspective is important. But it’s not the whole story, and it often drowns out everyone else.

My sister will never write an online post about her experience. Many profoundly autistic people can’t safely advocate for themselves in public, or at all. Their realities get filtered through others or erased entirely. And families and caregivers, who live the realities of developmental disability every hour of every day, are increasingly treated as if their input is inherently suspect or oppressive.

If we’re serious about justice and dignity, the conversation must change. We need structured ways for families and caregivers to be heard without being immediately dismissed, and for the needs of more profoundly disabled people to be represented even when they can’t self‑advocate in polished language. Otherwise, “nothing about us without us” becomes “nothing about the most vulnerable, decided by the most articulate.”

– Madeline Nagler

Safety by Oddity.

UPI. Wisconsin recycling center posts 17.3 mph speed limit sign

I may not be a genius, but I pride myself on recognizing genius when I see it. And what can be more genius than posting a speed-limit sign with an arbitrary decimal number?

Outagamie County Recycling and Solid Waste station in Appleton, Wisconsin, recently announced such a speed-limit sign: 17.3 miles per hour. Why the decimal? Because, they say, it makes you pause and look twice; it takes you out of autopilot mode. That’s so true! Who wouldn’t turn their heads toward that sign… and try to process it… while they’re driving… in an area where giant garbage trucks and smaller cars are moving in and out throughout the day?

Seriously, it was a great social media idea, a unique way of promoting safety that could easily be explained in a post that should have gotten much more engagement than it did. But on the road, where all people see is “SPEED LIMIT: 17.3,” there’s no room for messaging or a discussion about safety; there’s only room for safety. Sometimes less – in mundane repetition – is more in communication.

– Phillip Bogdan

The Clickbait Gates of Hell.

The New York Times. The ‘Gates to Hell’ Are Dimming. That May Not Be a Good Thing.

Y’all, the NYT did us dirty with this 12-word headline whiplash. Who wouldn’t read the phrase “The ‘Gates to Hell’ Are Dimming” and feel a little relief?

But of course, the “click me” chaser, “That May Not Be a Good Thing,” did the bigger lift. Even if hellfire is dying down, things still suck.

No, we’re not talking about the actual fires of hell, which admittedly would be tough to measure. The piece is about a decades-long natural-gas fire burning inside the soccer field-sized Darvaza Crater in Turkmenistan.

It’s an insane visual, hence its “Gates of Hell” nickname. And it’s a bit of a tourist attraction and just an overall curiosity for nerds like me.

The New York Times reports, “The intensity of heat from the flames has diminished by more than 75 percent over the last three years,” which a layman like me who just wants some nice, clean air would think is a good thing.

But then comes the gut punch. NYT goes on to report that while the flames are getting smaller, greenhouse gas emissions from the inferno are still increasing. So now we’re left with a burning hell hole that looks way less cool than it did, and yet, it’s still bad for the planet.

Thanks for nothing, Gates of Hell.

However, I will concede that the NYT headline itself did its job, because I clicked it, read the piece, and learned something I didn’t know. So, there’s a small win in this.

Or as the NYT might describe it, Reader Harrumped at Headline She Clicked. That May Be a Good Thing.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Getting Sacked off the Field.

The Athletic. Fired for cause, or for losing? Why more schools are betting they can fire coaches for free.

The drama of the college coaching carousel has become its own form of sporting entertainment.

Who’s on the hot seat, who needs to win which game in order to survive, how much boosters need to contribute to golden parachute, a losing coach out of town. It’s a form of semi-controlled chaos that invites spectators to be participants; in the modern era, a vocal fanbase can send a Saturday night loser to the unemployment line by Sunday afternoon.

There’s a catch, of course. The cost of paying fired coaches has reached astronomical levels. Universities are on the hook for tens of millions for years following the last play call, and their donors and financial officers are sick of it. This new reality has forced schools into increasingly creative termination clauses, broadly expanding the use of “cause” for ending employment. As sports attorney Martin J. Greenberg told The Athletic this week, “The trend seems to be to find the magic words that are undefinable, maybe illusory, fire the coach for cause, then there’s negotiations (on a buyout).”

He’s right. Those magic words are becoming even more magical. Schools use them as a shield of self-defense at the inevitable moment they need to find an excuse to exit an athletic director or coach.

In doing so, they wisely insulate themselves from a full buyout, but they also contribute to more churn. Which may be good fodder for sports pundits, but bad news for bench bosses already afraid of their next firing.

– Sam Jefferies

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Sam zooms out on modern sports media with a look at Jomboy, who creates some of my favorite content on the internet. The creator economy works for slow sports just as well as it does for video games and memes. This is heartening.

Then we get to Nathaniel Beach’s entry, which you can read for yourself. It has to do with marsupial genitalia and our HHS Secretary. If you want to know what kind of boss I am, I didn’t edit a word.

Helen continues her war on Ticketmaster with a gleeful report on a jury verdict affecting Live Nation; Katie tells Gen Z to stop being weird online; and we welcome new Dez hire Ava Sheehan, who is leveling up our internal creative capabilities. She looks at parody brands as new engines for societal change (and market share).

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Slow News is Good News.

The New Yorker. How Jomboy Is Changing the Way Baseball Is Watched.

The gutting of the Washington Post sports section provoked a reaction now expected and unsurprising in the rapidly contracting world of legacy media. A stunning announcement, followed quickly by gnashing of the teeth and launching of the Substacks. I was part of the frustrated crowd – I’ve relied on Neil Greenberg’s Kentucky Derby analysis for years – but the predictable performance did seem to have lost some of its fury.

Sports are more popular than ever. Baseball, once looking like a slipping competitor to basketball and soccer for eyeballs and interest, has come roaring back. Aiding and abetting this return is Jomboy Media, the viral sensation which has grown from two guys with dry breakdowns of mundane baseball moments to a modern media company with more than 60 employees. Revenue has doubled in the past two years, Major League Baseball has an ownership stake, and the glib commentary delights millions of viewers each week.

Jomboy Media works across sports, but it really owns the baseball landscape. Why? “The secret is that Americans like slow sports,” founder Jimmy O’Brien told The New Yorker this week. “[Baseball] moves at a conversational pace. It gives you time to think and talk about things.” Maybe the speed and the outrage are getting to us all. Maybe, just maybe, Jomboy has recaptured what other sports media have lost: the art of the conversation.

– Sam Jefferies

Field Research.

New York Post. RFK Jr. once chopped off a dead racoon’s penis to ‘study later’ while on a family road trip.

The brain worm took the wheel of the Kennedy family road trip.

I can’t help but wonder how The Onion must feel predicting the future at this point, but I guess RFK Jr. is trying to prove the haters wrong that he’s not enough of a “scientist” to lead the Department of Health and Human Services.

Somewhat shockingly, pulling over during a trip with his family in the car to cut the [HR REDACTION] off a dead raccoon for unexplained future studying isn’t even the wildest Kennedy family road trip animal carcass retrieval moment in the books. The man who declared war on processed food has also strapped a whale’s head to his car, ditched bears in central park, and turned his wife Cheryl Hines’s Curb Your Enthusiasm role into useful life experience.

That being said, it would be poor journalism to not include the ever-eccentric HHS Commissioner’s defense of his peculiar hobby, so from the words of RFK Jr. himself: “I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be.”

Say what you will about RFK Jr.’s “Eat Real Food” initiative, but I really don’t want to know what his self-proclaimed carnivore diet consists of…

– Nathaniel Beach

Ticketed and Robbed.

Billboard Pro. Live Nation Verdict: Jury Says Concert Giant Is an Illegal Monopoly in Total Defeat.

The verdict against Live Nation and Ticketmaster confirms what all of us already knew: the system is rigged and we’re the ones footing the bill.

In 2023, I shelled out an obscene amount for nosebleeds to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour with no real choice about where or how to buy my ticket. When one company controls the venues, the ticketing, and the promotion, “take it or leave it” becomes the only option and prices skyrocket by design.

Mystery fees, “platinum” markups, and dynamic pricing spikes are baked into that monopoly power, not glitches in the system. The jury’s decision is a long overdue acknowledgment that fans have been squeezed for years. Now regulators have to decide whether they will actually break Live Nation’s grip so the next time I see my favorite artist, I’m not paying luxury prices to sit in the rafters.

– Helen Taylor

Maxxing Out.

The Atlantic. People are Thinking about Looksmaxxing All Wrong.

Most of us know about the manosphere (which you can read about in last week’s Dez Reads) but as with any internet realm, it often comes with its own new jargon.

One of the core phrases in this world is “(enter any verb or noun)-maxxing.” Most commonly used with Looksmaxxing and jestermaxxing, but you could get away with anything. Most Gen-zers will know what fiber-maxxing and fertility-maxxing are without a second thought, really anything you’re doing can now be explained by ‘fill in the blank’-maxxing.

This Atlantic article hits on the Gen-Z internet culture reality: “The online life is an extremist one, and the result is fatigue-maxxing.” It’s the maximalist version of the old saying, “something worth doing is worth doing right.” But I prefer a different mantra: Perfect is not the enemy of good. The last thing we need is young adults maxxing out two things in life and letting the rest fall by the wayside.

So maybe, in this framework, the only thing that should be maxxed is your life on the whole. Let’s start an internet trend of being well-rounded again.

– Katie Runkle

Mumumelon’s “Deliberate Shameless Dupes” Expose Fashion’s Sustainability Gap.

Fast Company. ‘We stole Lululemon’s designs and made them less terrible for the environment’

Are your Elevate Leggings and ABC Pants destroying the planet? The dupe activewear brand Mumumelon thinks so.

Lululemon is no stranger to controversy. The multibillion-dollar athleisure brand has faced litigation over greenwashing, inflated stock prices, and overpromised quality. This month, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton launched an investigation into whether Lululemon uses toxic “forever chemicals” (PFAS) in its athletic wear. Created by Serious People alongside advocacy group Action Speaks Louder, Mumumelon presents itself as a fake athleisure brand “violating copyright, not the planet.” Assembled in just weeks, the campaign’s sustainable dupes demonstrate a low-emissions, renewable-powered supply chain.

Remember Lululemon’s iconic black and white reusable bag? The typographic-driven design featured the brand’s original manifesto, including the line: “what we do to the earth, we do to ourselves.” Confusion and mistrust emerge when an environmentally conscious ethos is marketed despite rolling back public sustainability targets that cause emissions to rise.

The critique is less about the industry-wide challenge of decarbonization and more about the widening gap between stated brand values and measurable progress. Mumumelon reframes the conversation by offering a working model rather than a protest, suggesting that large-scale change, while complex, is not purely hypothetical.

So, while the Lululawyers might sue-sue, consumers are learning that reaching sustainability goals isn’t totally delulu.

– Ava Sheehan

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Mark Emerson here with the pen. There’s a lot to unpack this week. Let’s get into it. Anne Marie kicks us off with a story that reads like a corporate Black Mirror episode, where eBay employees turned unfavorable coverage into a full-blown harassment campaign. It’s bizarre, dark, and a reminder that how you handle criticism matters more than the criticism itself.

Sam Jefferies follows with a takedown of “sanewashing,” a concept that feels increasingly relevant as extreme voices get polished into something more palatable. Nathaniel Beach builds on that thread, digging into the manosphere and how algorithms are shaping a generation of young men in ways that are more exploitative than empowering.

Madeline Nagler zooms out to the live music economy, where seeing your favorite artist now comes with the price tag of a small vacation, and asks who gets left behind when culture becomes a luxury good. Michael Bova closes us out with a reminder that not everything moves forward in a straight line. Personally, I’ll take the vinyl and skip the Swiftie travel package.

A little chaos, a little culture, and a few things that make you stop and think.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Keep The Change, Ya Filthy Animal.

The Independent. eBay strikes a deal with couple who claimed in $500m lawsuit that tech giant sent them cockroaches and funeral wreaths

Every time I think I’ve seen it all, I haven’t.

When David and Ina Steiner, publishers of an e-commerce newsletter, wrote critically about eBay, the company’s employees responded with a harassment campaign that feels akin to something Kevin McCallister orchestrated, circa 1990s Home Alone.

eBay employees launched live cockroaches, spiders, a bloody pig mask, a funeral wreath, pornographic magazines sent to a neighbor’s house, and a plot to break into their garage to install a GPS tracker on their car. Yes, that eBay, the place I go to find vintage coffee mugs and underpriced furniture. In addition to the civil lawsuit, seven employees faced criminal charges, including eBay’s former senior director of safety and security, who got nearly five years in prison.

The Steiners sought $500 million in damages and just settled for an undisclosed amount. My guess? Somewhere north of “go away” money and south of half a billion… but enough to make the point that terrorizing a couple from Natick, Massachusetts over a newsletter was, in fact, a terrible idea.

All is not fair in love and [online marketplace] war.

– Anne Marie Malecha

Sanewashing: The Art of Making Crazy Sound Like a TED Talk.

Mediaite. Hasan Piker is the left’s Candace Owens, The Press Treats Him like a Rock Star.

Media criticism is almost too easy. By definition, everything the media (broadly defined) does is public, so every piece of reporting, every crumb of analysis, every poorly written headline and even more poorly thought-out podcast comment lives under the microscope.

In a world where everyone is media and yet reporters and commentators are poorly trained or not trained at all, mistakes are the norm and biases are ignored or welcomed. Media criticism is as old as media itself. At times, it matures to meet the moment.

Colby Hall’s cold, analytical cut-down of far-left streamer Hasan Piker is can’t-miss commentary. Amongst other things, Colby breaks down the practice of “sanewashing,” the act of rephrasing or contextualizing a public figure’s extreme, irrational, or chaotic rhetoric to make it seem more mainstream, rational, and palatable to the general public.

Sanewashing is the whitewashing of the present moment. Intentional and purposeful, it wraps the crazy in false context and papers over madness to protect extreme voices. Piker’s radicalism is a frequent beneficiary of sanewashing. Hall’s media criticism should serve as a warning to others; sanewashing Piker will now live under its own microscope, too.

– Sam Jefferies

Rage, Algorithms, and the Boys Who Never Got to Be Awkward.

The State News. Dear male podcaster, tell me when my life begins

I’ve been loosely keeping tabs on the manosphere for a few years, and it’s always made me feel unsettled. I’m 27 and lean right politically, so although I’m somewhat older than the audience they typically reach, I’m close enough to the target demographic to understand where their raw channeled frustrations come from. The problem is the younger men they’re reaching were coming up at an especially vulnerable moment. COVID-19 locked them down in the middle of puberty, stealing their opportunity to experience awkward parties, fumbling first crushes, and learning how to connect with people. Instead, they were alone with social media algorithms that turned every insecurity into endless rage and resentment.

That’s the real heart of the male loneliness epidemic. An entire generation of boys who missed the messy, face-to-face experiences that build confidence and friendships and end up isolated in ways we haven’t seen before. The influencers saw that vulnerability and built an industry around preying on it. They package sexist, homophobic, and deeply toxic ideas as self-improvement, then feed them to boys who are still figuring out who they are. They call it “ascending as men,” but a lot of it just keeps guys angry and scrolling, just one “looksmaxing” technique or supplement away from “leveling up.”

I’m all for men getting stronger and building real lives, but this is exploitation dressed up as wisdom. We owe young men better.

– Nathaniel Beach

You Want to See Taylor Live? That’ll Be a Plane Ticket, Two Hotel Nights, and Your Soul.

WSJ. Why Concerts Keep Getting More Expensive.

As superstar artists consolidate into residencies, they aren’t just innovating the concert business, they’re quietly shifting the real costs of touring onto their fans. The WSJ notes that instead of crisscrossing the country, top acts now park in a few lucrative hubs, forcing fans to shoulder airfare, hotels, and extra fees on top of already inflated tickets.

What reads as efficiency for multi-millionaire performers and promoters becomes a regressive tax on devotion. This practice turned once-local, communal shows into luxury trips reserved for people with disposable income and flexible time.

The working-class fans who used to scrape together money for a nosebleed seat in their own city are now expected to bankroll an entire mini-vacation just to be in the room, effectively pushed out of a cultural ritual they helped build. In the name of spectacle, access is being quietly stripped away.

– Madeline Nagler

From the Bargain Bin to $1.1 Billion.

RIAA. US Music Revenue Database.

It looks like vinyl records aren’t just for hipsters in Brooklyn.

The Recording Industry Association of America’s year-end report found that 2025 U.S. vinyl sales revenue reached nearly $1.1 billion, the 19th straight year of growth. It’s still far off from the nearly $10 billion made in streaming (82% of consumption), but continues to be the second-largest format for music at 12%.

At its peak physical LP/EP revenue, the industry hit $7.52 billion (adjusted for inflation) in 1978, when the Bee Gees Saturday Night Fever album topped the charts -- an album that I proudly own.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Taylor Swift has dominated record sales for the last four years, according to the NYT chart below; but there are a few surprises mixed in over the last 13 years. To whoever is putting “Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1” on their record player every night, you clearly aren’t the only one.

– Michael Bova

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Gut picks, a little overconfidence, and just enough conviction to be completely wrong come Friday afternoon. It’s Mark at the helm today, and MaryGrace kicks us off this week pushing back on the idea that we should outsource even that small joy to AI. Because at the end of the day, nobody cares about a perfect bracket if it wasn’t yours.

From there, I bring one of the more creative responses to a bad situation you’ll see this year, as Afroman turns a police raid into a full-blown music video, and somehow walks away with the win. Proof that if you control the narrative, you control the outcome.

Sam Jefferies takes aim at the “messenger class,” questioning whether the people shaping the conversation are actually limiting it, while Natalie Kopco breaks down the Oscars as less of an awards show and more of a live persuasion exercise, where the real impact happens after the cameras stop rolling.

And Phil Bogdan brings us home with a reminder that not everything is systems and strategy. Sometimes it’s just resilience and doing something meaningful with what you have.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

AI at the Buzzer.

USA TODAY. An AI March Madness bracket simulator? Sorry, we can’t be friends

One of the most 2026 things so far in 2026 is anger over sports fans using AI to fill in their NCAA brackets.

USA TODAY’s Blake Toppmeyer hilariously asks, "Have we…surrendered our desire for bragging rights? Lost the urge to shout, ‘Called it!’ and lord our ingenuity over anyone and everyone within earshot, when the 13-seed you picked upsets the No. 4?” (Ironically, USA TODAY’s website included an AI summary at the top of his screed. I digress.)

I do sympathize with Toppmeyer ribbing his pals for asking Skynet to go for nothing but net on their behalf. But I also tend to find anti-AI outrage overblown. And I’m oddly intrigued at what will happen when bots make the picks.

But ultimately, bots aren’t real life. Bots don’t change the fact that American sports are about the excitement of watching together as the best of the best tip off and fight it out. Nobody needs a bot’s bracket to enjoy the hero shots, the upsets, or the memes when it all blows up. Nobody cares if a bot’s bracket gets busted.

We just want to watch some games together IRL.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Lemon Pound Cake.

NPR. Afroman prevails in cops’ music video defamation suit after a brief but viral trial

Never put it past a creative individual to come up with something effective, brilliant, and well exonerating.

Rapper Afroman just pulled off one of the more absurd and impressive responses to a bad situation you’ll see this year. After an Ohio police raid on his home in 2022 that turned up nothing and only left behind property damage, Afroman did what he does best.

He made a banger.

Using his own home security footage, Afroman created Lemon Pound Cake, a track and full-blown music video showing officers breaking down his door, searching his home, and eyeing a cake on his kitchen counter. It plays like a surreal mix of bodycam footage and satire, set to a beat you probably didn’t expect to associate with a police raid.

However, the officers didn’t find the video funny. They sued him for defamation, claiming the video damaged their reputations and seeking millions.

A jury didn’t see it that way.

This week, Afroman won. A clean sweep. The court sided with his argument that the video was protected speech, a creative response to a wrongful raid.

That’s the part that sticks with me. In a world where most people respond to bad press or institutional overreach with statements, lawyers, or silence, Afroman wrote a song, dropped a video, and let it do the talking.

Creativity wins. Love to see it.

– Mark Emerson

Breaking the Echo Chamber.

The Argument. Shoot the messenger

“Shoot the messenger” is a tremendous headline. It bucks millennia of accepted practice, stretching back to Ancient Greece and Sophocles’ declaration that “no one loves the messenger who brings bad news.” Bringers of ill tidings were at risk of death, so frequently targeted that Greeks developed a special system for protecting them.

Editor-in-Chief of The Argument magazine, Jerusalem Demsas, makes the case for going back to the good ol’ days of messenger shooting. Why? Because, to hear her tell it, the obsessive homogeny of the “messenger” class – journalists, think tank scholars, pundits, non-profit leaders, and influencers – is choking off new, critical analysis of real problems America is facing.

Is gentrification a good or bad thing? If we stay too dependent on the messenger class, we’ll never know. But the anti-messenger messengers tell that gentrification isn’t a story of displacement by new white homeowners in traditionally Black neighborhoods; instead, it’s one of growing Hispanic and Asian populations and, in some places, of urban revival by new, young, ethnically diverse families.

Are unions resurgent? In newsrooms, absolutely. Since 2015, 100 media outlets have organized, resulting in 7,300 new members of the NewsGuild. These unionized reporters covered a rising wave of union organizing that never came to be. As Demsas writes, “At the height of the so-called labor revival (2021-2023) the unionization rate actually went down.”

I was halfway through this article when I frantically began texting it around to my friends - the semi-skeptical and the unquestioning ones, and yes, the members of the messenger class, too.

– Sam Jefferies

Stump Speeches in Sequins.

The Hill. Top political moments from the Oscars

If you squint, every Oscars telecast is a focus group on what Hollywood thinks the country should care about. This year, you didn’t have to squint. From war and displacement to immigration and speech rights, the acceptance speeches The Hill rounds up here sounded less like thank‑you notes and more like floor speeches on a campaign stop – with better lighting and nicer tailoring.

There’s always a round of hand‑wringing afterward about whether celebrities should “keep politics out of it” – the predictable cycle of op‑eds, cable hits, and social posts clutching pearls about “politics at the Oscars,” as if there were a politically neutral way to hand out trophies for stories about conflict, identity, and who gets a happy ending. Producers can try to box politics into a few carefully timed moments, but audiences don’t experience the show that neatly.

For our world, the interesting question isn’t whether the Oscars are “too political.” It’s whose framing survives the night: the polished, scripted messages from the stage or the clipped, imperfect moments that get replayed on social in 15‑second chunks. The show ends when the orchestra plays people off; the persuasion campaign starts when the clips hit the feed.

– Natalie Kopco

A Life Rebuilt in Color.

My Healthy Advantage Magazine. Painting Happiness

To close us out, I’m sharing a story that pays tribute to someone who has defied the odds.

Twelve years ago, doctors removed a tumor from my mother’s spine. Since then, her back and bodily functions have steadily grown worse – to the point where she’s barely able to walk, eat through her mouth, or even lift her head from her stomach. But she’s still able to move her arms and tilt her head high enough to paint. So she does, practically every day.

Since her doctor recruited her five years ago, she’s painted well over 1,000 wooden toys for orphaned children in the Dominican Republic, bringing smiles to the faces of people she’s never met. What are the odds that a person with her afflictions can pick up her life and make such a difference for so many? I can’t say. But by using the few functions she has left, she has certainly beaten them.

– Phil Bogdan

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Every book I read earned me a sticker on my BOOK IT pin. Five stickers = a free personal pan at Pizza Hut, with a side of breadsticks and a Pepsi in a red plastic cup. This is maybe the most nostalgic thing I can imagine, and Anne Marie delights our readership with the news that 144 Pizza Huts have been converted back to the old style, complete with the famous lunch buffet. It’s about time.

We also welcome our newest Dez hire, Madeline Nagler, this week. She looks at the ongoing antitrust trial against Live Nation through the lens of the audience, finding it increasingly difficult to enjoy live entertainment due to oppressive pricing models.

Nathaniel Beach continues on the theme of AI disrupting intellectual property, with an examination of future AI-invented pharmaceuticals. Will Kim informs us that a new urn – yes, urn – just dropped, and it’s programmable to play your favorite Spotify playlist into eternity. Why?

Anne Marie brings us home with a more hopeful application of generative AI, in which Stanford researchers are making progress toward helping stroke and ALS patients make sense of jumbled thoughts. It’s important to remember the miracles that will take place via this technology, amidst all the slop.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go

Red Roof Revival.

NYT. That Red Roof! Those Tiffany Lamps! It’s a Pizza Hut From the Past

The photos in this story caught my eye first. The red and white tablecloths, shape of the breadsticks, large red Pepsi-branded plastic cups, and the signature pan pizza equate to one thing and one thing only – pizza Fridays at a 1990s Pizza Hut. I remember it like it was yesterday – walking into the dimly lit restaurant, taking my seat on the red vinyl booth, Book It coupon in hand… Not a cell phone in sight.

Dine in Pizza Hut Classics are serving up a salad bar, pizza, and a healthy dose of nostalgia to a Millennial and Gen X clientele longing for simpler times. Yum Brands, the parent company of Pizza Hut, doesn’t promote or even acknowledge the existence of the 144 restaurants that have been converted to Pizza Hut Classics.

Thanks to Reddit and other social forums, the Classics have an online community cult following that are dishing on where to experience this red-roofed blast from the past. Retrologists are willing to go the distance to get the full retro experience, planning road trips and vacations around hitting a Classic.

– Anne Marie Malecha

The Velvet Rope Economy.

The Hollywood Reporter. Taylor Swift and Trump Loom Over Live Nation as Antitrust Trial Kicks Off

As a native New Yorker, live music once felt democratic. If you cared enough, saved enough, and waited in Midtown in the rain long enough, you could usually find your way into the room. The experience belonged to anyone willing to chase it.

Today, it increasingly belongs to whoever can afford it.

Ticket prices have crept from indulgent to astronomical. Dynamic pricing models turn fan devotion into demand curves. VIP packages expand, fees multiply, and resale markets balloon. A night at a stadium can rival the cost of a weekend trip. The result is that the communal thrill of live music increasingly resembles a luxury good: scarce, and optimized for the highest bidder.

Artists with real leverage sit at the center of this system. Someone like Taylor Swift can move markets simply by announcing a tour, and that influence carries responsibility.

If the biggest artists remain passive observers, the risk is not just financial. Fans priced out of participation eventually stop feeling like participants at all.

– Madeline Nagler

Inventions that Invent?

DrugPatentWatch. Algorithms Don’t Own Patents: How to Win the AI Drug Race

I’ve spent a bit of time around IP policy in my career, and AI is one of the first shifts in a while that truly feels like it breaks the old assumptions. The debate is incredibly messy when AI is part of the process. Who gets credit when a model does most of the thinking and a human is guiding, selecting, nudging, and validating? Is it the owner of the model that developed it, the person utilizing it, or both? AI usage in invention has made this far more than just an IP debate, creating a moral and political dilemma about what we reward and who we hand power of the patent to.

The USPTO has gone back and forth, but currently has the standing that only people can be inventors, and courts have similarly echoed that in Thaler v. Vidal. The issue I have, though, is that policy still falls behind the real-world complexity of AI-assisted work. I think the next chapter gets written in PTAB challenges and litigation, where patents get stress tested claim by claim, especially when someone tries to claim a huge swath of variants that a model can generate quickly.

Regardless, the worst option is pretending this is business as usual.

– Nathaniel Beach

Tomb Tunes.

TechCrunch. Spotify and Liquid Death release a limited-edition speaker shaped like … an urn?

If you’ve ever joked, “Play this at my funeral,” Spotify’s got you – and maybe even took it a step too far. In a partnership with the trendy canned water brand Liquid Death, they’ve rolled out the “Eternal Playlist Urn”: an urn with a Bluetooth speaker built into the lid, so your playlist can come with you to heaven and hell.

The catch is the price tag: $495. The second catch is its exclusivity: only 150 units made, U.S. only. It’s the kind of “collector’s item” logic that usually applies to sneakers or watches, not human remains. And to top it off, Spotify even made an “Eternal Playlist Generator” that asks you questions about what you want to listen to in the afterlife, then spits out an “external” soundtrack based on your listening algorithm.

Don’t get me wrong – I can’t live without music, but I’m not sure if I’ll want it when I’m dead. Do we really need to “take it to the grave” with a branded, rechargeable, limited-edition boombox? When even dying won’t grant us a digital detox, technology has officially gone too far.

– William Kim

Thoughts, Decoded.

BBC. How AI can read our scrambled inner thoughts

Much of the discussion around AI includes concern, warnings, and cautionary tales. I was delighted to read how AI is helping stroke and ALS patients translate thoughts into real-time text. The Stanford University study is the closest scientists have come to “mind reading.”

Having watched loved ones be robbed of their ability to make sense of their thoughts and speak clearly after suffering from a stroke or the degenerative effects of ALS, the promise of these scientific breakthroughs is incredible.

Generative AI is putting technological development on steroids. Within just a few short years, patients may be able to have AI assistants like Alexa and Siri that sound like they did prior to illness or injury, account for personalized speech and linguistic patterns and that fully translate jumbled thoughts into coherent communication.

Technology that pushes beyond the limits of the human brain to help humanity is an intelligence revolution I can get behind.

– Anne Marie Malecha

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In our day jobs, I mean entering high-pressure situations and often punching back on behalf of our clients.

On the couch, for many of us that means watching sports. That certainly comes through this week, a distinct Dez Reads emphasis on the Olympics and the Super Bowl. Katie Runkle, of course, is the outlier as our regular reporter on the dating and romance beat.

On the Olympics front: Phil Bogdan correctly calls out the French, Maya Shackley informs us that American speedskaters are forged in the cold Wisconsin winters, and Jen Hirshon weighs in on behalf of Gen X, in celebration of a 54-year-old lawyer-turned-American curler.

Finally, we welcome Sam Jefferies back to the firm this week after a 10-year hiatus. In the spirit of welcoming, I allowed him to include a bit on his hometown Super Bowl Champion Seattle Seahawks. That’s a one-time offer; Go Lions.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

Pig Skin Politics.

Roll Call: How the Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks explain the 2026 midterms

A decade after the infamous goal-line disaster that cost the team their second consecutive Super Bowl, the Seattle Seahawks have exorcised the demons of the past and returned to their city covered in glory or confetti.

And national media seems to have little to say about it. Maybe it is the ruthless execution of an all-time great defense, but the coverage seems…muted.

Longtime DC insider Nathan Gonzalez had an interesting spin on the team, though. His breakdown maps players’ connections to key congressional districts – running back Kenneth Walker’s ties to the Michigan 7th, seat Republicans must defend in their unlikely efforts to keep the House, or linebacker Ernest Jones IV’s Georgia roots as a spotlight on Sen. Ossoff’s efforts to defend his seat in a tossup race.

Political reporters are often criticized for engaging in “horse race” journalism over substantive policy coverage. But pigskin politicking? I can get on board with that.

– Sam Jefferies

Skategate Strikes

Newsweek. Fans Compare Team USA Olympic Judging Drama to Infamous ‘Skategate’

Last night, I saw one of the most inspirational performances on ice I’d ever been blessed to see. Olympic skating pair Madison Chock and Evan Bates delivered a flawless ice dance routine. They were perfectly in sync, technically spot-on, and their bodies brought raw emotion from their faces down to the tips of their cold, sharp skate blades.

Yet they lost. Years of hard work for that one accolade that eluded them, the gold medal, down the drain. Why? Apparently French judge, Jezabel Dabouis, showed favoritism for her own nation’s skaters (who won the gold, despite a visible error) by giving Chock and Bates a conspicuously low score. The internet erupted, comparing the behavior to the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics’ ‘Skategate’ incident, when a French judge admitted to engaging in vote swapping and bribery.

Oh, you French. Will you ever learn? You already sparked one crisis that reshaped the scoring system. Must we rethink the scoring system again? At this point, I need to admit something. I’m not an expert on figure skating or judging. I can’t even stand up on skates. Yet these events moved me. Damn the details.

Two hardworking people who gave everything were snubbed because one snooty French judge stole the glory for her own country. Emotion sans rationality is like jet fuel for a reputation crisis, and it will be a real challenge bringing rationality to that decision. I’ll be breaking out the popcorn – but not the bon bons – for the Olympic Committee’s response.

– Phillip Bogdan

Deal-breakers that don’t deal-break

The Atlantic. Most People Don’t Have a ‘Type’

To keep in line with my writing on romance from an almost sterile perspective, the day before Valentine’s Day I bring to you the idea from the Atlantic that most people just don’t have a type.

One of the author’s must-haves in a relational partner is a permanent address, so not too high of a bar. Yet the love of her life lived on the couch of their group home. Go figure.

When I was 15, I was told to make one of these ‘non-negotiable’ lists for my future partner. Because I was clearly very qualified at that age, the very first item on my list was “must be taller than 6 foot.” My fiancé is 5’9.

She writes that, “Many people think that they have a set type, and that all they need for eternal bliss is to find someone who matches it.” But then rebutts that idea with a psychologist’s advice that no one really knows what they want until they find it, and that “people’s stated preferences don’t align well with the traits that incite their fondness for someone in real life.”

So, for another unromantic take as I’m preparing to wed and celebrate the romance holiday, here’s to (thankfully) not getting what we wished for at 15. My advice to you - date someone who doesn’t align with the on-paper qualifiers.

– Katie Runkle

You are never too old.

Yahoo Sports. Winter Olympics 2026: 54-year-old personal injury lawyer Rich Ruohonen becomes America’s oldest eve…

Have you heard of Rich Ruohonen, the oldest American ever to compete at the Winter Games?

At 54, this personal injury lawyer and father has made the Olympic curling team, and his long, uneven path to Milan is a reminder that some dreams aren’t “too late” so much as “not yet.”

His willingness to keep grinding through a full law career, parenting, relentless training, and six unsuccessful Olympic cycles feels like quintessential Gen X: understated, durable, and loyal to the commitments made to a younger self.

As a fellow Gen X’er his story gives me hope that midlife is not a closing door but a different vantage point from which to pursue the same ambition with deeper perspective. The door is still there you simply have to be determined enough to keep searching for the key.

– Jen Hirshon

Gold-Metal Genes

WSJ. The State That Churns Out Beer, Cheese—and the Fastest Speedskater Alive

Greatness in the Olympics isn’t just about grit, pain tolerance, and monk-like devotion to 5 a.m. workouts. It also helps to win the genetic Powerball.

Take Michael Phelps. At 6’4” with a 6’7” wingspan, paddle-length arms, double-jointed ankles, a long torso, short legs, and lung capacity that bordered on mythical, he wasn’t just built for swimming, he was engineered for it. The result? A propulsion-and-endurance machine with a medal addiction.

Speed-skating, though, requires a slightly different edge. Yes, you need tree-trunk thighs and preternatural balance. But it also helps to be born in Wisconsin and to train at the Pettit National Ice Center in Milwaukee.

That’s where Jordan Stoltz first laced up at age five, inspired by short-track legend Apolo Anton Ono. His parents found more than a rink; they found a gold-medal assembly line. Since 1980, Americans have won 19 Olympic golds in long-track speed-skating—16 by skaters raised or trained in Wisconsin. At the Pettit Center, five-time Olympic champions roam the oval, clipboard in hand, casually molding the next podium regular.

Wisconsinites already brave subzero Sundays at Lambeau Field fueled by cheese curds and beer. Hand them speed skates and a 400-meter oval, and they become something else entirely: very, very fast.

– Maya Shackley

When I made the move directly from a filthy group house into her pristine condo upon our engagement, it became clear to both of us: This shared life is going to be a whole new thing for both of us. Katie Runkle is Dez’s newest fiancée, and her submission this week puts marriage into an interesting perspective: think start-up, not merger. It’s a good rule of thumb to read anything Arthur Brooks writes, and his Atlantic column kicks us off this week.

Colby Nelson is a good Ohioan and thus suggests that we eat more domestic venison. See the AI-generated header image for an idea of what Colby the Venison King might look like.

You may not know that Dez CEO comes from an Oscar Mayer family and was picked up from her fifth-grade graduation in the Wienermobile. Literal coolest kid on campus stuff. Helen Taylor lives out that heritage with an homage to the Weenie 500, which I will be gambling on this year.

MaryGrace captures the zeitgeist around Alex Honnold’s historic climb in Taipei, and Jen Hirshon features a $32,000 stone pot that was almost sold at a garage sale for twenty bucks. Jen, sign me up for your family’s next Antiques Roadshow pop-up!

This is a fun one; thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

The Startup Model

The Atlantic. Why the Most Successful Marriages Are Start-Ups, Not Mergers

This is an old article, but the Atlantic suggested it to me… so I guess my algorithm is working.

In professional terms, Arthur Brooks posits marriages are more successful as ‘start-ups’ than mergers. As a young 20-something engaged to be married to another young 20-something, I found this extremely encouraging and appealing.

“The sweet spot for a durable romantic partnership, then, is a new venture between two mature co-founders who are not so set in their ways that they act like entrenched corporations…. long-standing corporate cultures are very hard to integrate, with the result that productivity and morale fall off after a merger. Mixing them can be difficult or impossible. This could be analogous to two independent 30-somethings—with established habits, tastes, beliefs, and careers—trying to become a single married unit.”

Because I think a lot about the way companies work (or fail to work), which comes with the territory of working at Dez, I found this metaphor appealing and understandable. Or maybe I was just lapping up the confirmation bias.

Either way, an interesting take. Here’s to love that lasts (i.e. a new venture that creates a single corporate culture instead of the merger of entrenched corporations).

– Katie Runkle

The Venison King?

The Atlantic. Eat More Deer, America is letting good meat go to waste.

America is swimming in white-tailed deer in this country—chewed-up forests, busted cars, hired sharpshooters in densely populated urban areas cleaning up a mess we pretend not to see. The Atlantic’s recent article titled “Eat More Deer” outlines how we’ve built a system where that animal, living a better life than any feedlot steer, can’t easily end up on our dinner plates. Instead, we import millions of farmed venison from New Zealand and call it civilized?

One thing that is hard to disagree with: if you’re going to eat meat, wild venison is about as honest as it gets. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good steak. But there are no feedlots, no pink slime, and no comforting lies. Just an animal that lived free, died fast, and became dinner.

– Colby Nelson

Peak Americana

AP. Oscar Mayer’s Wienermobile race is coming back to the Indy 500

I have officially become a racing fan, and it’s entirely the Weenie 500’s fault. I didn’t even watch last year’s inaugural race. Just read about a pack of Wienermobiles battling it out at Indy and realized, “Oh. This is my Super Bowl now.”

There’s something deeply compelling about six giant hot dogs lining up on a famous racetrack like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I’ve never cared about tire strategy in my life, but suddenly I’m wondering which frankfurter has the best cornering and whether bun drag is a thing.

So this year, I’m all in. I will be parked in front of my screen, emotionally invested in tubular meat on wheels, yelling at inanimate hot dogs to “hold the line” like I’ve been following motorsport for decades. Other people have a Ferrari. I have the Weenie 500.

– Helen Taylor

Impressive, But…

The Wall Street Journal. He Climbed a Skyscraper Without a Rope on Live TV. Why?

When legendary free solo climber Alex Honnold teamed up with Netflix to climb Taipei 101, he turned it into something rare: a unique live event I could actually watch with my kids, a good-natured person aiming for a goal with cameras swooping in from drones, crews high above the earth in harnesses, and rooftop shots making it a heart‑in‑your‑throat moment from every angle. It was just kinda cool. And Honnold looked stoked.

But of course, as soon as someone gets a big yum, someone shows up to yuck it.

Urban climber Dan Goodwin, who free soloed Toronto’s CN Tower in 1986, was quick to drop his equivalent of a pursed-lip gif.

“I would probably have upped the ante,” Goodwin told the Journal. “I probably would have blindfolded myself.”

You know what? Why stop there? How about climbing it while on fire with a rabid alligator moat below and your least favorite song blasting on repeat? I digress.

Honnold himself says he knew he’d get grief from other climbers for making it into a whole Netflix thing.

But his answer was basically… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Anyone who’s like, ‘Why would you do that?’ You’re kind of like, why wouldn’t you?”

– MaryGrace Lucas

Hidden in Plain Sight

WaPo. She planned to sell her old pot for $20. It sold for $32K at auction. - The Washington Post

WHAT A CROCK OF…

Sometimes the most valuable things are hiding in plain sight – so familiar you stop seeing CC them altogether.

For three decades, a Nebraska grandmother had a stoneware crock on her porch, weathering sun and snow, completely unremarkable to everyone who walked past it. Turns out it was a rare piece of 19th-century pottery that just fetched $32,000 at auction. She was ready to sell it for $20 at a garage sale. I love stories like this because they flip the script on what we think we know. We obsess over things we’re sure are valuable while ignoring the quiet treasures gathering dust in corners or in this case, on the front porch.

My family has hosted our own version of The Antiques Roadshow, where guests bring items for auctioneers to evaluate. Every year, I’m floored by what people discover about their treasures. One woman learned her “costume jewelry” ring was worth far more than she ever imagined. One couple found out their Garbage Pail Kids collection could fetch serious money only if they could track down that one missing card. And plenty of folks arrive with their treasures only to hear the auctioneers say, “What do you know about this? Do you love it? Good, because that’s the value right there.”

That’s the thing about value: it surprises you in both directions. So maybe take a second look at that weird thing in your basement you inherited from family. You never know.

– Jen Hirshon

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We tend to gravitate toward stories that interest us personally, but matter to the discipline of persuasion in some way. This week, I lead with new reporting on Matthew McConaughey’s effort to trademark elements of himself, such as the portrayal of his famous dialogue from Dazed and Confused. This is both interesting, and likely an important milestone in the way courts interpret and react to AI deepfakes.

Anne Marie really loves pizza, apparently, which is reflected in her analysis of a sticky trend in which Americans are falling out of love with the pizza pie. The ways we think about nutrition, togetherness, and tradition in the modern world probably all play into this.

Staying on the AI beat, Phil Bogdan shows the power of tech-enabled mischief-making as stray monkeys took over St. Louis (seriously), and Nathaniel Beach has a tribute to the communications and persuasive prowess of Mike Tomlin, somehow now the former coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

And finally, Mark Emerson wraps things up with a wild headline. It turns out one of the fastest-growing paths to an American talent visa may now involve subscriber counts, engagement metrics, and an OnlyFans account.

We’re looking forward to another killer year. Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

What’s a Deepfake?

WSJ. Matthew McConaughey Trademarks Himself to Fight AI Misuse

Alright, alright, alright.

Matthew McConaughey is attempting to trademark the delivery of his famous line from Dazed and Confused, as well as various other personal attributes, such as his stare and smile. It’s an attempt to protect his likeness from exploitation via AI deepfakes.

Ironically, I asked an LLM to assess the strength of these innovative trademark protections in one sentence. Its response:

“He is somewhat likely to succeed in using these trademarks as a deterrent and in clear-cut commercial misuse cases, but success against broader, non-commercial AI fakes is uncertain and will depend heavily on how courts interpret this novel strategy.”

Hats off for the creative approach, which seems likely to gain traction as high profile individuals clamor to protect their most important assets: themselves.

– Josh Culling

When Words Become Culture.

NYT. Inside Mike Tomlin’s emotional final meeting as Steelers head coach

In Pittsburgh, we have our own language: “Pittsburghese”. We say “Yinz” instead of “you all”, “chipped ham” instead of “lunch meat”, “jagoff” instead of “jerk”, “nebby” instead of “nosy”, etc. While it may sound like nonsense to outsiders, this unique adopted language is important to those raised by the city.

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin exemplified the use of language with his infamous “Tomlinisms” – memorable quotes that became almost as famous as the coach himself. With Coach T’s resignation this week, I’m taking off my fan hat that saw Tomlin bring home a Super Bowl, and I’m putting on my comms hat in appreciation of Coach T’s unique ability to communicate with the media, players, and fans.

In honor of Coach Mike Tomlin’s 19 years at the helm of the Steelers, here are my favorite Tomlinisms:

1. “I can’t give you all the ingredients to the hot dog, you might not like it.”

2. “Don’t blink. If you’re a blinker, cut your eyelids off.”

3. “We need volunteers, not hostages.”

4. “If you got red paint, you paint the barn red.”

5. “There’s a fine line between drinking wine and stomping grapes.”

6. “We’re still squirreling those nuts.”

7. “The Standard is the Standard.”

– Nathaniel Beach

Crowdsourced Chaos.

AP News. Monkeys are on the loose in St. Louis and AI is complicating efforts to capture them

We hear a lot of horror stories about how artificial intelligence can be used against society, such as mass government surveillance through facial recognition. Well, here’s a positive – and slightly rebellious – use case of AI that can throw a monkey wrench into your “friendly” local government’s AI surveillance program – if there ever is one.

A small gang of Vervet monkeys somehow escaped their anonymous owner’s home and went on the loose in St. Louis, Missouri. It sent authorities scrambling like keystone cops, thanks in part to AI. Soon, “concerned” citizens throughout the area began posting AI-generated images of Vervet monkeys in different locations all over St. Louis, confusing authorities and allowing these innocent monkeys to elude capture.

It’s like a new take on that classic scene from the movie Spartacus, where this leader of a band of renegade slaves was given a chance to save his comrades from the Roman legion by identifying himself among the crowd. As he began to stand, hundreds of fellow slaves stood up in his stead, shouting “I am Spartacus.” Spoiler alert: Things did not turn out well for Spartacus, and sooner or later, these monkeys will probably be captured through ground truthing, but St. Louis residents really found an interesting way to counter the misuse of technology.

– Phil Bogdan

Nostalgia Served by the Slice.

WSJ. America is Falling Out of Love With Pizza

This is my love letter to and in defense of pizza. Pizza is the perfect food, with nearly endless combinations of ingredients and styles. While I have my favorites among the options, I’ve never met a pizza I didn’t like, unless it had pineapple on it. Apparently, I’m in the minority, and Americans are over this tasty treat.

According to the Wall Street Journal, peak pizza consumption is a thing of the past. Instead, dining at fast casual Mexican food eateries and coffee shops are on the rise. This news is both surprising and saddening to me.

There is a nostalgia and camaraderie with pizza that doesn’t exist with other foods. Pizza Fridays has been bringing my family and friends together for decades. It’s THE original – and for so long was THE only – delivery option. It’s also the centerpiece of pizza parties and pizza day at school. Last but not least, pizza, personal pans specifically, were the foundation of the greatest reading program ever — Book It.

Big Pizza is concerned after a number of once-popular pizza chains filed for bankruptcy last year, and frankly I am too. I have to believe the crusade against carbs is at least partially to blame.

Whether you like your pizza cut in squares or triangles, with white or red sauce, thick or thin crust… there are so many reasons to love it. In a world that’s unpredictable and ever chaotic, “there are certain things you can depend on in life, and death; taxes and pizza are among them.”

Here’s to eating more pizza in 2026.

– Anne Marie Malecha

Talent Redefined.

Independent. US is granting way more visas to OnlyFans creators under ‘talent’ provisions typically used for celebrities

In a world where you never quite know what headline is coming next, this one stopped me cold. You want a fast track to getting your visa? Start an OnlyFans.

According to the Independent, US immigration officials are increasingly approving O-1 visas for social media influencers and adult creators with large online followings. These visas were originally designed for people with extraordinary abilities in fields like arts, entertainment, or athletics. Today, immigration lawyers say digital popularity, subscriber counts, and online earnings are becoming key evidence of that extraordinary status.

In practice, that means creators who can prove sustained attention and commercial success online are being fast-tracked through a system that once catered almost exclusively to elite performers and cultural figures. Influence is now measurable, documentable, and apparently visa-worthy.

In this age, not much surprises me anymore. What a time to be alive.

– Mark Emerson

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Ain’t that America?

We will pick things up in January with our latest readings and musings. I want to thank our team, which exploded in size and Dez Reads contributions this year. Thank you for helping show off the curiosity and learning that makes our team so creative and impactful.

And thanks, as always, to you all for reading along with us. Happy Holidays; we’ll see you in ’26.

Here we go.

Father, Son, and Holy Algorithm.

The Economist. The race for an AI Jesus is on

There’s a new app called Text with Jesus, built atop ChatGPT, that allows you to chat with whatever Silicon Valley’s idea of Jesus Christ is.

Both Pope Leo XIV and I hate this outsourcing of faith to our AI overlords, but here it is anyway. Merry Christmas!

– Josh Culling

A Pretty Penny.

AP News. Last US cents sold at auction for $16.76 million were worth a pretty penny

According to the Associated Press, a penny could buy a biscuit or a piece of candy when it was introduced in 1793. Now the last three pennies ever produced are fetching more than $800,000 at auction. They were the last of 232 three-cent sets produced by the U.S. Mint, selling for a total of $16.76 million.

This is nuts. What gives? For the past 40 years, we’ve been throwing pennies into wishing wells and forgetting where they hide under sofa cushions.

I’ll tell you what gives. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

As the holidays come to a close, remember not to not take the little things for granted, even if they seem worthless in the moment. Those little things will be missed when they’re gone – and you could end up paying a pretty penny to get them back.

– Phil Bogdan

Santa’s Not-So-Secret Stash.

Fox13. California police find Christmas ‘free weed’ display that was anything but jolly

I guess Santa’s sleigh isn’t the only thing flying high this holiday season.

In Auburn, California, an anonymous holiday philanthropist decided to spread some specific cheer. Outside a local high school, a sidewalk display was set up showcasing a sign that read “Merry Christmas! Free Weed! Organic and Cage Free” accompanied by jars of free marijuana. Naturally, one should not take a jar of unlabeled drugs and use said drugs for a whole host of safety reasons, but at least the giver thought to alleviate any concerns by providing manufacturing details.

After discovering the anonymous offering of Kris Kringle’s Kush (trademark pending), California authorities confiscated 29 jars of the “free Christmas weed”. I am most certain that the Santa elf who put the display up had more than 29 jars out originally, so a few early birds most likely scored the stocking stuffer before the Grinch in uniform arrived.

In the end, while the giveaway didn’t last long, it gifted us all an incredibly funny story of holiday spirit. Somewhere out there, a very relaxed citizen is enjoying the true meaning of “peace on earth” this Christmas.

– Nathaniel Beach

Naughty List for the Algorithm.

The Atlantic. Will Australia’s Social-Media Ban Be Good for Teens?

The fears of “algorithmic manipulation” and “predatory design features” that “encourage compulsive usage” have finally been acted on down under.

This Christmas, Australian children and preteens aren’t getting coal or presents but rather having one of their ways to end up on the nice or naughty list removed: social media.

The Australian government believes this will make kids happier, healthier, well-rested, and more engaged in other activities. Basically, a one-off fix-all cure.

Based on their definition of social media, Discord, Pinterest, and Roblox are still allowed, so I’m sure those companies feel like Christmas came early for them… To everyone else, Happy Holidays, and to Australian kids, Happy pinning and channel-messaging!

– Katie Runkle

Heistmas.

CBC. Thieves dressed as Santa and his elves steal $3K worth of goods from Montreal grocery store

Nothing like ending the year with a good Robin Hood story during the holidays. As long-time readers know, I have a soft spot for a creative theft, and this one comes with Santa working overtime.

Earlier this week, a group dressed as Santa and masked elves rolled into a Montreal grocery store, calmly filled carts with about $3,000 worth of food, and walked out without paying. The group later claimed responsibility, saying the food was redistributed under a Christmas tree and stocked in community fridges across the city. They justified this by saying that grocery prices are soaring and corporate profits are rising; they saw the real theft happening elsewhere.

Police are investigating, the grocery chain is unhappy, and social media is largely cheering. The stunt was nonviolent, theatrical, and perfectly timed, which helps explain why many people see it less as shoplifting and more as a political statement with a charitable aftertaste.

I’ll always enjoy a well-executed heist story, and during the holidays I suppose even Santa has to take matters into his own hands.

– Mark Emerson

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We reflected on our year, celebrated the dozen new faces in the room, and awarded some promotions to our people. Office holiday parties can be a bore, for sure, but seeing our team unwind for a few hours (and service a few client needs over heavy hors d’oeuvres) was rewarding and fun. Dez right now feels like a kid after 14 hours at Disney World – very tired, but hungry for more. I can’t wait for 2026.

Thank you to Katie Runkle – one of the new 2025 faces I mentioned – for capturing this in her Dez Reads submission this week, on why team holiday parties matter.

Anne Marie updates us on the Drunk Raccoon beat, in which every meme is merch, this time to the tune of $200k.

Phil and AMM go on to capture two quintessential elements of the American Christmas: materialism and fistfights.

Whether you’re partying with friends, family, or raccoons, or brawling at the mall over the latest Labubu, the Dez team wishes you the happiest of holidays.

Thanks, as always, for reading along with us this year.

Here we go.

In Praise of the Office Party.

Forbes. Why The Team Holiday Party Matters, Plus 3 Ways To Help The Planners

We all know the office holiday party, maybe the one you dread, or talk too much at, or just linger a tad too long… but we don’t usually consider all the planning that went into the festivities, or what a gift it is.

Whether it’s a cocktail in a conference room, or you’re spoiled with a private dinner at Nobu, in a busy season of hectic work and family gatherings, no one I know has spare time.

There’s value to connection – especially with the people you spend 50 hours a week working with. Take the time to be present at yours this year, and please remember to thank the one who planned it.

–Katie Runkle

Trashed Panda Strikes Again.

USA Today. Drunk raccoon inspires merch, raises $150K for Virginia animal shelter

America’s favorite drunk raccoon continues to make the rounds with features in national media, its own SNL skit, and now with money-making merch.

As the proud parent of two rescue pups, I’ve seen the amazing work small, scrappy animal shelters do on shoestring budgets. The Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter’s over-served celebrity raccoon has raised more than $200,000 (as of this morning, 12/12/25) for shelter operations and special programs. Cheers to this tiny tyrant “Trashed Panda“ and all the good he’s done with his internet stardom. If only all influencers did the same.

–Anne Marie Malecha

Playing With Fire.

The Economist. Humans were lighting fires from scratch a lot earlier than previously thought

Human beings have been harnessing fire for 1.6 million years, but previously were thought to have created technology to start their own fires only 50,000 years ago. The ability to start and control fire facilitated a great leap forward in human evolution, as cooked food unlocked all sorts of nutrients and digestive efficiencies that allowed other parts of our anatomy (i.e., our brains) to grow and develop.

A newly uncovered clay burn pit and manmade tools in present-day England suggests that humans have been deliberately starting fires with pyrite sparks for 400,000 years. I think this is cool.

–Josh Culling

Nantucket Goes Naughty.

NY Post. Wild street brawl erupts during ritzy Nantucket Christmas celebration: video

File this under adults behaving badly. “They decked the halls — and then each other.”

For the last 51 years, Nantucket’s hosted its annual Christmas Stroll. The idyllic holiday celebration is a Main Street gathering, an opportunity to see Santa, and shop at the island’s adorable and impeccably decorated stores.

This year’s Stroll was anything but quaint. A battle for the ages broke out when a group of 20 somethings and a group of 50+ somethings got into arguing, pushing, shoving, and eventually sucker punching each other, all while suited up in cashmere coats and designer shoes.

The cause of the brawl is unknown. While no charges were filed or arrests made, all involved are on Santa’s (and Nantucket Police’s) naughty list indefinitely.

–Anne Marie Malecha

A Different Way to Do December.

BBC. The anti-materialist Christmas: Rituals around the world that swap gifts for meaning

It’s no secret that Christmas is expected to be tight for families this year. But you know it’s going to be rough when “gift experts” on the news are saying ‘high-value, low-cost’ gifts are ‘in’ this year. That’s just a sexified way of saying, “It’s okay to buy cheap stuff.” Why not just skip the junk gifts and do something more memorable instead? Cheap cologne and Barbie doll knockoffs get thrown away or forgotten anyway. Embrace experiences rather than things.

In a recent article, the BBC shared some great cost-free ideas that people in other cultures do to celebrate Christmas, like jólabókaflóð, which is Iceland’s “Christmas book flood.” This is when Icelanders retire to read books in the candlelight after Christmas dinner. In Japan, Christmas is time for young couples to break out the Marvin Gaye CD and get their evenings on. In Australia, families gather for cricket matches with family and friends.

While not all of this works for everybody, it gets the juices flowing for other ideas. Christmas doesn’t have to be about money. Like Jessie J sings, “It’s not about the price tag.”

–Phil Bogdan

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Mark here. The temperatures have dropped fast over the last couple of weeks, and suddenly it feels like we’ve fully stepped into the holiday stretch. It’s that time of the year when the days shorten, and everyone starts trying to carve out time for family and festivities before the year closes.

This week, Anne Marie Malecha leads us off with a raccoon who partied a little too hard in a Virginia liquor store, delivering one of the best wildlife mugshots of the year. MaryGrace Lucas follows with a look at how workplace fashion has evolved and the biases that haven’t.

Phil Bogdan weighs in on the uproar over spray-painted Christmas trees, defending the right to holiday décor in all its forms, while Katie Runkle brings a thoughtful case for big families through the lens of siblinghood. And Nathaniel Beach closes us out with a deep dive into Ken Burns’ The American Revolution, and why long-form history still matters.

Stay warm and enjoy the upcoming holidays. Thanks, as always, for reading along with us.

Here we go.

The Boozy Bandit of Ashland.

NYT. A Drunk Raccoon Passed Out in the Bathroom of a Virginia Liquor Store

Don’t worry, he’s okay.

After breaking and entering through the ceiling of an ABC liquor store in Ashland, a little trash panda taste-tested rum, moonshine, peanut butter whisky, vodka, and eggnog. He drank like a millennial at a pregame power hour circa 2001. I’m impressed his hangover only lasted a few hours.

While social media is usually the armpit of the internet (or worse), I’m grateful for stories like these. A special thanks to Chief Jeff Parker of Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter for his picture-perfect shot of the raccoon passed out between a trash can and the loo – and his clever caption, “I’m just going to lie down here (hic) for a second.”

Listen, I can’t blame the guy. Times are tough, we’re short on joy, life is expensive, and sometimes you just need something to take the edge off. Cheers to you, little buddy!

– Anne Marie Malecha

From Blazers to Blue Jeans.

WSJ. How Workplace Fashion Has Changed Over the Decades

The Wall Street Journal’s piece on how office fashion evolved over the decades is a really fun and visual read. Photos show developments like new fabrics and the invention of “casual Fridays,” allowing us to ditch fancy hats and blouses in favor of comfort.

The photos reminded me of a personal maxim: Don’t tell anyone how to look.

It stems from my time working in cable news, when colleagues expressed disgust and complained to network brass about female reporters showing bare shoulders on air.

I was baffled. We prided ourselves on telling stories from all walks of life, yet within our own workplace, my colleagues still applied the ol’ blazers = credibility bias.

The truth is, clothes do not make a colleague, journalist, source, or story more or less worthy.

If you focus on the packaging instead of the person, you’re going to miss out on the kinds of independent thinkers who decades ago figured out you shouldn’t need a fancy hat, a tailored blazer, or a pair of heels to do excellent work, deliver results, or earn recognition.

And that is likely to cost you more than you gain from a self-satisfying sartorial slight.

– MaryGrace Lucas

Fir Real?

NY Post. Christmas tree farm ripped for selling ‘horrific’ spray-painted firs

I do not wear Christmas on my sleeve. You will not see animated figures of Santa and his elves getting all impish and spry on my lawn. At best, I’ll string up a short row of white icicle lights along the top of my garage and call it a day.

That said, I do like Christmas décor; and I respect my neighbors’ rights to decorate their homes, no matter how gaudy-slash-jolly their yards or living rooms may look. But apparently, some people don’t respect others’ expressions of Christmas cheer.

A family of Christmas tree farmers in New Jersey was recently chastised for bringing a little more color to Christmas trees – with the help of latex-based paint. Some called this “poisonous” and “horrific.” Bah! Who are they to judge others’ sense of good Christmas décor?

They could be starting a movement. Charlie Brown’s sad little Christmas tree might have been ridiculed at first, but look where it is now: on sale at Amazon and enjoying a sweet, sweet 4.7-star customer rating. Good grief!

These Christmas tree farmers had the gumption to try something different. It may not be uplifting for everyone, but it will amp up the merriness and cheer for some like never before, and I applaud that.

– Phil Bogdan

The More, the Merrier.

The Free Press. I Have Six Siblings. It’s the Greatest Gift in the World.

I came across a Free Press article about siblings the other day. It gave a compelling, yet very simple argument for having a big family - not religion or the birth rate crisis but the magic of similarity and shared experience.

Jillian Lederman shares her life as one of seven children. She says her parents wanted a “big life”. That’s one thing to call it. Words like expensive, chaotic, busy, difficult, and impossible flooded my brain. Then, as I kept reading, they were replaced with a different vocabulary set: beautiful, happy, exciting, rich, and fulfilling.

Amongst her writing about their Edy’s ice cream and toaster waffle birthday breakfast tradition, she captures it best with this sentence: “It’s only natural for humans to crave people who understand them instinctively, to whom they don’t have to explain themselves. But I’ve never had to crave that feeling: I have six people who know by heart all the quirks of my childhood, because they lived them alongside with me.”

Whether you’ve known the joys she writes about or not, try making it easier for your future family. Give them the gift of siblings.

– Katie Runkle

The Revolution, Reframed.

PBS. The American Revolution | All Episodes Now Streaming | Ken Burns

Over the holiday weekend, I was scrolling through social media while drowsing off from the turkey, and I saw a post arguing Andrew Jackson would win any presidential fistfight. I went down the rabbit hole and realized this makes sense, considering he’s got an entire Wikipedia page dedicated solely to his “extracurricular activities.” I learned that before he was a brawler in the White House, Jackson was a half-starved teenage POW in the Revolutionary War, slashed by a British officer’s sword and imprisoned in the Carolina backcountry.

As controversial as Jackson’s presidency was remembered by history as, I never really considered his pre-presidential life as an American during the Revolutionary War. Luckily, my interest in the era of America’s fight for independence coincided right when famed historian Ken Burns released his highly anticipated The American Revolution documentary on PBS. If you’ve ever seen a Burns documentary before, you know you’re in for 1) a full day’s worth of content with his 10+ hour programs, and 2) the most in-depth and well-told recollection of the most impactful moments of U.S. history. Burns won’t waste viewers’ time with glorified myths of George Washington standing upright on a small boat crossing the Delaware River. He’ll deliver honest and hidden details of the events that took place during this time in history. His style turns the Revolution from a tidy high school textbook chapter into a story that feels raw and oddly close to the present.

This is a long program, as are most of Burns’ documentaries, the kind you actually sit with over a few nights and let the politics and arguments about what America should be really sink in. With PBS fighting to fund slow, ambitious projects in a world of quick hits, The American Revolution feels like proof that public media can still make space for deep, thoughtful history instead of background noise.

– Nathaniel Beach

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